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X2 (2003): 8.5/10
1.) [DIRECTOR'S NAME REDACTED]'s second spin with the mutant Marvel heroes is a marked improvement on his clunky but promising debut feature, sleek, assured, boasting crisper action sequences and a less choppy screenplay with an additional half-hour's screentime to let the story breathe and the character interactions more room to flower and settle.
2.) The presence of [DIRECTOR'S NAME REDACTED]'s usual editor/composer, John Ottman, is probably a big part of the reason why (as well as less studio interference and a larger budget and more time to sculpt the available footage into a pleasing shape). Both his skillsets start the movie off with a bang, as teleporting, mind-controlled mutant Nightcrawler (a grotesque yet oddly cuddly Alan Cumming) stages a thrillingly well-choreographed and cut one-man assault on the White House, scored to Mozart's Requiem Mass (aka "the
Cliffhanger trailer music"). You're immediately sucked into the film with this crackerjack action sequence, still a high water mark for the franchise in general.
3.) Hugh Jackman is allowed to fully embrace Logan's "berserker rage" during an invasion of Professor X's school for gifted youngsters, and despite the understandable trims for PG-13, it's still a bracing, vengeful kick seeing him lay waste to numerous cannon-fodder bad-buy soldiers.
4.) One thing I love in superhero movies is when awesome powers are used for mundane, everyday things, like when Bobby "Iceman" Drake (Shawn Ashmore) takes a puff into Logan's room-temperature soda pop, instantly making it nice and frosty. "Thanks."
5.) While no one will ever mistake Rebecca Romijn-Stamos for Meryl Streep, she's clearly having a ball in her role as Mystique (given a delightfully slinky, breathy signature theme by Mr. Ottman), full of subtle smirks that are slyly mimicked by the actors whom she impersonates throughout.
6.) Halle Berry's new wig as Storm is a giant improvement on the first film. Wish I could say that same about Famke's Janssen's unflattering, cherry-colored bob.
7.) Beautiful Kelly Hu, as villain William Stryker's (Brian Cox) mute henchwoman Yuriko, aka "Lady Deathstryke", makes for a striking image, with her icy-blue eyes and a fistful of razor-sharp Adamantium talons that would make Freddy Krueger fall head-over-heels in love. That said, her eventual
King Kong vs. Godzilla slugfest with Logan would have had more vengeful kick had she been more developed as a character, as opposed to standing around in the background ominously cracking her knuckles.
8.) Hey, actual Skotek Bros. MINATURE effects in the "collapsing dam" climax! Even in 2003, that was already somewhat retro, but I loved seeing them.
9.) The homosexual subtext of the entire
X-Men franchise is put to the fore in the tender "coming out" scene with Bobby Drake revealing his powers to his family, leading to the wonderfully on-the-nose line, "Have you tried...
not being a mutant?"
10.) I'm surprised this film has been getting kind of dismissed in recent years, people pulling back on their initial glowing praise to punch holes in it sixteen years later, as I still think it's one of the best entries in the series, with the most adroit blend of drama, action, humor and thoughtful metaphorical subtext.
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X-Men: The Last Stand (2006): 6.5/10
1.) Brett Ratner steps into the directorial chair in place of [DIRECTOR'S NAME REDACTED]. who was off making the same summer's maligned
Superman Returns instead. Like all of his films
The Last Stand is best described as "proficient", pushing plot points and characters around like chess pieces without the necessary skill with the actors or the running time (it's a half-hour SHORTER than
X2) to support the storyline's grand asperations.
2.) Holy CRAP, have the "de-aging" F/X on the "20 years ago" prologue aged poorly. Released two years prior to
The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button (and years before the MCU would make this kind of stuff effortless), poor Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen look like their faces are mummified in Saran Wrap.
3.) This film has one of the most fascinating plot hooks of the series -- the concept of a "cure" for the mutant gene, and how the mutie community reacts to this earth-shattering news -- and yet doesn't have the courage to really dig into the moral and ethical implications of it.
4.) Ellen Page (just before she became a hipster punchline with
Juno) is cast as Kitty Pryde, following the character being played by two different actresses in the previous movies and used for nothing else than Easter Egg sight gags. She's sweet and appealing, but given too little to do, and a forced love triangle between her, Bobby Drake and Rogue (Anna Paquin) never really gels, again, because there's a paucity of screentime to properly develop it. It also makes Rogue into kind of a possessive shrew, with her line, "You're a
guy, Bobby, you're only thinking of one thing!" seeming particularly cruel and unmotivated.
5.) Kelsey Grammer is marvelous as furry mutant diplomat Hank "Beast" McCoy, all erudite elegance with a glimmer of feral attitude underneath his natty suits. Perfect casting, really.
6.) I liked the bit during the Alcatraz Island invasion climax with McKellen's Magneto lifting several wrecked cars into the air, so that henchmen Pyro (Aaron Stanford) can set them ablaze to be hurled at the X-Men as giant, flaming grenades.
7.) Seems like Ratner was taking a page from Brian De Palma's
The Fury for Stewart's memorable exit from the film...and, in fact, that film was kind of like an R-rated
X-Men movie 22 years ahead of the curve (replete with Amy Irving doing her best Dark Phoenix impersonation at that film's explosively bloody conclusion).
8.) John Powell gets his crack at the franchise with one of the better scores the series has boasted. His passionate theme for Jean Grey is particularly good.
9.) Despite the film's immense budget, it can't help seem hopelessly low-rent when McKellen is delivering one of his trademark florid speeches to his mutant brothers...and it's set in the same anonymous Canadian patch of woods you'd see in every other episode of
The X-Files in the 90s.
10.) Not as franchise-ruiningly bad as many have claimed,
The Last Stand is nevertheless a weak, scattershot finale to this initial "trilogy", with some baffling creative decisions (like not delving deeper into Logan's backstory at ALL), questionable performances. It's certainly watchable, and has many good elements, and yet is a notable downturn from the second film. Still, it's magnificent compared to the NEXT
X-Men film...