Halloween Horror Marathon 2014

[Monterey Jack]

Yeah, like a lot of Larry Cohen's directed scripts, it has some amusing ideas but is kind of clunky and unsatisfying.

The only other Cohen movie I've seen is It's Alive, which, aside from Bernard Herrmann's score (gotta wonder what the man who scored Citizen Kane thought about working on a killer baby movie... ), was pretty damn stupid. At least The Stuff had a few amusing satirical barbs aimed at mid-80's advertising, like a TV commercial for the titular foodstuff featuring Clara Peller sending up her "Where's The Beef?" ads. As far as delivering the goods as far as "horror" goes, though, it was pretty weak sauce.

Then again, I'm at the mercy of whatever happens to be available on Netflix streaming for the majority of my "new-to-me" Halloween viewing this year, which is mostly dross.

[AndyDursin]

Cohen's later efforts like IT'S ALIVE III and especially A RETURN TO SALEM'S LOT (which played theatrically only at the Showcase in Warwick RI -- literally the ONLY theater that ever ran it!) were dominated by Michael Moriarty's bonkers performances. He's nuts in both of them, and they're worth seeing for that alone, though I don't know if they're up on Netflix.

[Monterey Jack]

Them! (1954): 8/10



Pretty much the high-water mark of the 50's "Big Bug" cycle, which usually produced laughable cheapies like Bert I. Gordon's The Beginning Of The End (which depicts the invasion of Chicago by ginormous locusts by having regular-sized locusts crawling in front of postcards of the city skyline! ), Them! is unusually well-directed and boasts superior full-scale animatronic effects for the era. The climax set in the Los Angeles storm drains is particularly exciting (despite a surplus of Wilhem Screams)...one wonders if this film might not have been in the back of James Cameron's mind when he was writing Aliens.

[mkaroly]

MANT was the pinnacle...lol...

[Monterey Jack]

MANT was the pinnacle...lol...

Part man, part ant...all terror!


BTW...are you actually going to contribute this year, Andy? Already halfway through October.

[AndyDursin]

I have to write another set of notes for Quartet by the end of next week, so alas that takes the priority. And I just finished another set of them about a week ago...these things just come up. Keep going though MJ, you don't need any help!

[Monterey Jack]

The Vampire Lovers (1970): 7/10



Typical early-70's Hammer production, with their usual clouds of atmospheric ground fog and bountiful gore enlivened by plenty of gratuitous nudity and lesbianism. What's not to like?

[Monterey Jack]

Count Yorga, Vampire (1970): 7/10



The Return Of Count Yorga (1971): 7/10



That's a young Craig T. Nelson making his film debut in the latter.

[Monterey Jack]

Alone In The Dark (1982): 8/10



The first feature from New Line Cinema (a few years before Freddy put them on the map) is an interesting, stylish and well-acted thriller about a gaggle of lunatics (including Jack Palance and a terrifically wiggy Martin Landau) who escape from the mental institution during a blackout and eventually lay siege to the house of their new psychiatrist (Dwight Schultz from The A-Team). There's a bit more suspense than gore in this well-directed film, with added dashes of black humor keeping the proceedings unpredictable. A pleasant surprise.

[Monterey Jack]

Beetlejuice (1988): 8/10



"Are you gross under there? Are you Night Of The Living Dead under there? Like all bloody veins and pus...?"

[Monterey Jack]

Dark Shadows (2012): 7/10



For such a "terrible" Burton movie, why does this get more amusing every time I watch it? Even the deliberate groaners make me laugh. Sexy Eva Green cranking the crazy up to eleven certainly helps, as does the aching loveliness of Bella Heathcote (even if her love story with Johnny Depp's Barnabas Collins falls somewhat flat because their storyline is given surprisingly short thrift in the screentime department). Eh, even Burton's "bad" movies always have a lot of fun moments, Alice In Wonderland aside.

[Monterey Jack]

Firestarter (1984): 4/10





I didn't think much of this when I saw it on TV back in the 90's, but was hoping the passage of time and a fresh new Blu-Ray transfer might enliven the proceedings, but it's still pretty anemic. Hard to believe King movies started off being directed by Brian De Palma, Tobe Hooper, David Cronenberg, John Carpenter and STANLEY FREAKING KUBRICK in the 70's and early 80s, but by '84, the best they could muster up was David L. Lester. Aside from the still-impressive full-scale pyrotechnics and a decent performance by wee Drew Barrymore (if they had remade this a decade ago, I'm sure they would have cast Dakota Fanning), the rest looks and feels like one of King's made-for-TV projects from the 90's. The book was far better, and despite the impressive cast (including George C. Scott and Martin "Greg Stilson" Sheen), the movie is a pale impersonation.

[Monterey Jack]

Guess I'm the only one interested in horror this year...

Insidious (2011): 8/10



Insidious Chapter 2 (2013): 7/10

[AndyDursin]

THE BLOB
7.5/10



This one held up quite well -- briskly paced, fun FX, some humor and surprisingly appealing lead characters in Kevin Dillon's high school outcast and, especially, Shawnee Smith's cheerleader. TT's Blu looks and sounds terrific as expected.

LEPRECHAUN series
1/10



I remember hating what I watched of these direct-to-video '90s flicks years back. Hoping for some unintentional yucks -- and years of diminished expectations -- I picked up Lionsgate's box-set and....wow. Just wow. Atrocious, cheaply made, dumb and unwatchable nearly across the board.

[Monterey Jack]

Phantom Of The Opera (1989): 7/10



Here's a pleasant surprise, a literate, handsomely-produced take on the old tale, starring...Robert Englund?! Yet it's not quite Freddy Of The Opera, despite a few enthusiastic outspurts of gore and Kevin Yagher's impressively yucky makeup. Only a clumsy, unnecessary modern-day wraparound really disappoints. Plus, it's amusing to see a very young-looking Bill Nighy in a supporting role.

Screamtime (1986): 2/10



Fairly crummy horror anthology has one halfways-decent segment (a woman is driven to madness by visions of bloody murder in her new home, setting up a decent Twilight Zone twist at the end) surround by two clumsy, witless ones (a puppetmaker's creations run amok and a trio of burglars meet their end via...killer garden gnomes?! ), plus a dire wraparound with a pair of guys watching videos stolen from a rental store played on their humorously gigantic, top-loading VCR. Skip it.