Madame Web...the latest Sony Spidey Spin-Off Suckfest
- Monterey Jack
- Posts: 9949
- Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2004 12:14 am
- Location: Walpole, MA
Madame Web...the latest Sony Spidey Spin-Off Suckfest
This was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad. I realize Sony has to release one of these every few years to keep Spider-Man under their ownership (or else Disney will swoop in like vultures), but this makes Morbius look like Spider-Man 2. Hell, it may be the most singularly awful comic book movie since The Spirit. And it's the first of THREE Spidey spin-off features this year! It's like Sony totally missed the memo that no one likes superhero movies anymore (although Madame Web barely qualifies, coming across more like a wan Final Destination rip-off with the characters showing up in CW-level costumes for like two minutes in future premonitions), and they're cranking 'em out like it's still 2014. And the movie is not only set in 2003 (replete with endless, obviously ADR'ed lines name-dropping every early-2000s thing you can think of, and the lead girls dance on a table in a diner to Britney Spears' "Toxic" in one scene for no reason), but has F/X that looked barely more advanced than you'd see in a superhero movie made in 2003. The CGI looks as laughable and low-rent as something like Daredevil, Ang Lee's Hulk, Blade 2 or even the first Raimi Spider-Man do by today's standards.
Also, it's weird that, in an era of Toxic Femininity, this movie's female director dresses the trio of teenage leads so fetishistically (replete with gratuitously bared/toned midriffs) you'd expect Michael Bay behind the camera.
I didn't realize Sydney Sweeney was playing a stripper on the side.
It's a gigantic turd, but it's so awkward and stilted and patched-together it was actually more fun to watch in a train-wreck way than routine bore-fests like Black Adam, Shazam 2, The Flash and The Marvels.
Last edited by Monterey Jack on Sat Feb 17, 2024 9:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.
- Paul MacLean
- Posts: 7229
- Joined: Sat Oct 09, 2004 10:26 pm
- Location: New York
Re: Madame Web...the latest Sony Spidey Spin-Off Suckfest
Thanks for the warning!
- AndyDursin
- Posts: 34835
- Joined: Tue Oct 05, 2004 8:45 pm
- Location: RI
Re: Madame Web...the latest Sony Spidey Spin-Off Suckfest
Someone's going to have to pay me to sit through this. It's too bad, the concept of this movie -- which is as much about introducing Spider-Woman and those associated characters -- doesn't seem as if it was totally misguided, but the way things have gone, it's no surprise the resulting film is a mess.
The other thing I don't get is when is Sony able to put all these Spider-Man side characters together. Is it just them biding the time (my guess; so long as MORBIUS makes a profit they're content to stay the course) or Marvel stipulating, per their Sony agreement, that Tom Holland can't "cross over" into these pictures? As bad as these Spider spinoffs have been, a well made Spider-Man/Venom movie, when they finally get to it, is going to make a fortune. Hell, so would a poorly made Spider-Man/Venom movie.
The other thing I don't get is when is Sony able to put all these Spider-Man side characters together. Is it just them biding the time (my guess; so long as MORBIUS makes a profit they're content to stay the course) or Marvel stipulating, per their Sony agreement, that Tom Holland can't "cross over" into these pictures? As bad as these Spider spinoffs have been, a well made Spider-Man/Venom movie, when they finally get to it, is going to make a fortune. Hell, so would a poorly made Spider-Man/Venom movie.
- Monterey Jack
- Posts: 9949
- Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2004 12:14 am
- Location: Walpole, MA
Re: Madame Web...the latest Sony Spidey Spin-Off Suckfest
You know all of the footage of the three leads in their Spidey costumes in the trailers? Yeah, that's like 90% of the footage you see of them dressed thusly in the actual movie.AndyDursin wrote: ↑Sun Feb 18, 2024 9:25 am Someone's going to have to pay me to sit through this. It's too bad, the concept of this movie -- which is as much about introducing Spider-Woman and those associated characters -- doesn't seem as if it was totally misguided, but the way things have gone, it's no surprise the resulting film is a mess.
I did find it hilarious that the second Venom movie promised a crossover with the Holland Spidey films ("That guy...!"), only to have No Way Home reduce Tom Hardy's role to a mid-credits scene where he gets rudely ejected from the movie without having a chance to do anything.AndyDursin wrote: ↑Sun Feb 18, 2024 9:25 amAs bad as these Spider spinoffs have been, a well made Spider-Man/Venom movie, when they finally get to it, is going to make a fortune. Hell, so would a poorly made Spider-Man/Venom movie.
- Monterey Jack
- Posts: 9949
- Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2004 12:14 am
- Location: Walpole, MA
- AndyDursin
- Posts: 34835
- Joined: Tue Oct 05, 2004 8:45 pm
- Location: RI
Re: Madame Web...the latest Sony Spidey Spin-Off Suckfest
She made a joke about MADAME WEB in her monologue but really this is all anyone is going to remember.
- Monterey Jack
- Posts: 9949
- Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2004 12:14 am
- Location: Walpole, MA
Re: Madame Web...the latest Sony Spidey Spin-Off Suckfest
Considering that the three young ladies in Madame Web were dressed as fetishistically as possible -- despite the movie being directed by a woman! -- that proves that studios are beginning to learn that audiences like to see hot chicks in their escapist movies, not chiding, scowling ones dressed like Rose Tico. And it's long past time.
#MakeMoviesSexyAgain
#MakeMoviesSexyAgain
- Monterey Jack
- Posts: 9949
- Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2004 12:14 am
- Location: Walpole, MA
- Monterey Jack
- Posts: 9949
- Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2004 12:14 am
- Location: Walpole, MA
Re: Madame Web...the latest Sony Spidey Spin-Off Suckfest
I'm almost tempted to watch this a second time, just to laugh at it.
- AndyDursin
- Posts: 34835
- Joined: Tue Oct 05, 2004 8:45 pm
- Location: RI
Re: Madame Web...the latest Sony Spidey Spin-Off Suckfest
A Sydney Sweeney SPIDER-WOMAN movie might have worked but it's too bad they blew it already with this one!
Can't wait for KRAVEN THE HUNTER
Can't wait for KRAVEN THE HUNTER
- Monterey Jack
- Posts: 9949
- Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2004 12:14 am
- Location: Walpole, MA
Re: Madame Web...the latest Sony Spidey Spin-Off Suckfest
Just keep the stripper outfit from Madame Web...!AndyDursin wrote: ↑Thu May 30, 2024 11:56 am A Sydney Sweeney SPIDER-WOMAN movie might have worked but it's too bad they blew it already with this one!
Shame that's gonna pull down a good filmmaker, J.C. Chandor, with it.Can't wait for KRAVEN THE HUNTER
- Edmund Kattak
- Posts: 1777
- Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2004 9:08 pm
- Location: Northern New Jersey
- Contact:
Re: Madame Web...the latest Sony Spidey Spin-Off Suckfest
I want to see the Japanese dub of this movie just to see if it’s funnier than WHAT’S UP TIGER LILLY.
Indeed,
Ed
Ed