If I could choose just one juicy, wild summer movie from my childhood that remains a blast of entertainment — sometimes for all the wrong reasons — it would have to be LIFEFORCE (116 mins., 1985, R), the pricey Cannon sci-fi/horror hybrid from “Poltergeist” helmer Tobe Hooper that remains in a class all its own for its overall “fun factor.”

The summer of 1985 may not have been as big as the summers of ’82, ’83, or ’84, but it was still a hot one — BACK TO THE FUTURE became a phenomenon, RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PART II was a bona-fide blockbuster, COCOON was a sleeper hit, and the “brat pack” scored another success with ST. ELMO’S FIRE. Mel Gibson came back in MAD MAX BEYOND THUNDERDOME, Chris Sarandon proved to be a formidable vamp in FRIGHT NIGHT, Jeff Bridges was on trial in JAGGED EDGE, Val Kilmer lead the teen sci-fi revolution in REAL GENIUS, Joe Dante met with mixed results in EXPLORERS, plus you had THE GOONIES, FLETCH, John Boorman’s EMERALD FOREST, and Roger Moore’s swan song as 007, A VIEW TO A KILL, all circulating at once. A pair of western revivals didn’t burn up the charts, but SILVERADO and PALE RIDER still carry along a pretty good rep these days. Even two costly flops from Disney (RETURN TO OZ, THE BLACK CAULDRON) managed to net a few admirers upon their original release.

One particular movie was also released that June — a picture that still lives in my mind as the ultimate definition of a “summer movie.” I’m talking, of course, about Tobe Hooper’s sci-fi extravaganza, LIFEFORCE, which has become something of a cult classic over the years and remains a guilty pleasure shared by many fans around the world.

No other movie in the annals of cinema can boast a naked space vampiress, London burning up in flames, countless outrageously bad performances from noted British thesps, and a great score by Henry Mancini to round it off. Throw in direction that treats the epic story as if it’s a comedy, and you should have an indication why the film’s popularity is higher now than it ever was back in 1985.

But before we dive into discussing “Lifeforce,” one must first consider the unique background to this film.

The Cannon Group (the makers of such classics like “Enter the Ninja,” “Superman IV” and “King Solomon’s Mines” with Richard Chamberlain and Sharon Stone) spent some $45 million on this adaptation of Colin Wilson’s novel “The Space Vampires”, hiring Dan O’Bannon (“Alien”) and Don Jakoby (“Blue Thunder”) to write the script, netting Tobe Hooper (hot off “Poltergeist”) to direct and John Dykstra (“Star Wars”) to handle the special effects.

“Lifeforce” was, for all practical purposes, Cannon’s attempt at a classy special effects picture, an out-of-this-world epic that would contend for the summer box-office crown of ’85, and, likewise, make-or-break the studio in their shot at big-time Hollywood respectability.

However, due to their not-so-firm track record at the box-office (and theaters owners’ correct assumption that most Cannon films were strictly drive-in fare), producers Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus sought to find a distributor to release it nationwide. Tri-Star Pictures became interested in distributing “Lifeforce” with the condition that Cannon hand them the real prize – all distribution rights for “Breakin’ 2: Electric Bugaloo,” the sequel to a breakdancing film that made over $20 million at the box-office six months earlier and cost, like most Cannon films, less than a million to produce. Cannon agreed, and “Lifeforce” went into nationwide release in mid-June of 1985, right up against “Cocoon” and Tri-Star’s own “Rambo II.”

Well, we all know what happened to The Cannon Group, and their big attempt at box-office glory, but the fact remains that “Lifeforce” is still one of the most unique film experiences of the 1980s. It’s lavishly produced but totally incompetent in the prime areas that determine the success of any film — in a nutshell, “Lifeforce” is a masterpiece, except for the writing, directing and acting. Fortunately, though, “Lifeforce” is a prime example of a fun bad movie because the performances are so inept, the writing so ridiculous, and the direction so obvious that you just can’t help but laugh. Putting it on the expensive scale that this film takes place on makes it even more enjoyable — the more excessive the film gets, the funnier it becomes.

Steve Railsback stars as Tom Carlsen, the American leader of an international space-shuttle mission to explore Halley’s Comet, which is about to pass near the Earth for the first time in ages. The shuttle radar picks up an immense object situated in the comet, one that turns out to be an alien ship containing the remains of strange bat-like creatures (gross) and three completely naked humans, including French actress Mathilda May (far from gross).

For reasons explained later in the film, Railsback’s crew begins to die one-by-one, all of them having been drained of their “life force” by these interstellar vamps. Railsback, despite being drawn to Mathilda’s bod (and who in their right mind wouldn’t be?), tries to blow up the ship and prevent the creatures from reaching Earth…

…BUT their glass cases protect them from the fire (a surprise plot twist), and the three bad-vamps are brought back to Earth thanks to a rescue mission by the shuttle Columbia. They’re put under surveillance in a London Research Laboratory, where head scientist Frank Finlay assures the audience that “there’s no way a naked girl is going to get out of this complex.” However, we know better, and Mathilda uses her vast powers to overcome the security guards (one of whom tries to stop her by offering up a bite of his biscuit), and walks off to inflict havoc on an unsuspecting London populace.

Meanwhile, intelligence expert Peter Firth teams with our intergalactic doofus Railsback to try to track Mathilda down (she apparently started some sort of fling with Steve while on the shuttle — God only knows why she picked him), which leads the two to an encounter with a possessed, pre-“Star Trek” Patrick Stewart (who disintegrates into a blob of blood in a military helicopter during one of the film’s funniest scenes) and a climax which seems to have been taken right out of an Irwin Allen movie.

London is in flames as the population turns into zombies! Buildings blow up right and left! Big special effects fill the screen! Mathilda still walks around naked! The dialogue is even dumber than before! (As Firth and Railsback walk in sweating to a last-minute meeting with the Prime Minister — trying to come up with a last-ditch attempt at saving the world — his secretary calmly asks if they “would like a cup of tea?”).

If you haven’t seen “Lifeforce”, I think I’ve made it clear by now why this film holds so much entertainment value for those of us who treasure this sort of thing. Co-writer Don Jakoby later blasted Tobe Hooper, claiming he mis-directed the entire film and that he edited sequences as if they were comedic — a charge that nearly every frame of the movie could be used as evidence to support. It’s a ’50s “B” sci-fi movie blown up to epic proportions, and as Jakoby stated, it’s played so totally straight it threatens to veer into self-parody throughout.

In fact, not only does the film boast excellent special FX, but it also contains atmospheric photography from Alan Hume (a vet of many fine British films, including several James Bond pictures), expensive sets by John Graysmark, and a gorgeously bombastic, melodic music score by Henry Mancini that’s rightfully regarded as one of the finest of the 1980s.

While it is, admittedly, sort of sad to see such talent being wasted on a film like this, you can’t help but enjoy it all while watching it, and enough of the craftsmanship and artistry of the filmmakers shines through to make it an undeniably one-of-a-kind movie experience.

When “Lifeforce” was released theatrically back in ’85, it was first shown domestically in a 102-minute version prepared by Tri-Star, with re-cut opening credits and various, re-scored music cues written by Michael Kamen and James Guthrie (who shared on-screen credit with Mancini). The new, heavily-synthesized cues were composed to cover over various edits in the shorter U.S. release print, but they’re vastly inferior to the Mancini compositions and stick out by comparison.

Subsequently, fans of “Lifeforce” were thrilled when MGM/UA, back in 1995, decided to release a 116-minute “Extended International Version” on laserdisc — an expanded edition that was comprised of Hooper’s original cut for Cannon. This edition appropriately opens with Mancini’s thunderous “”Lifeforce” Theme,” adds introductory narration by John Larroquette (who performed a similar function on Hooper’s “Texas Chainsaw Massacre”), and restores Mancini’s original cues to their intended form (Kamen’s involvement is eliminated from this print).

It also, happily, adds even more hilarious dialogue: my favorite is Peter Firth’s exchange with one of the head male vampires at the end. When the vile villain brags that “it’ll be a lot less terrifying if you’d just come to me,” Firth gathers his magical sword, grins and boasts, “I’LL DO JUST THAT!” (This longer version, however, is regrettably missing a priceless bit featuring a vampified- jogger combing through a garbage can, which remains exclusive to the U.S. theatrical release).

You can’t say that “Lifeforce” is a great movie, but it’s impossible not to get caught up in the fun of it. I’ve shown the movie to a bunch of friends over the years, and all of them got a major kick out of it — it’s simply too unusual, too incredible not to.

With the biggest effects to be seen this side of “Star Wars,” some of the most unintentionally funny dialogue of the ’80s, and the worst acting by competent actors you may ever see (although Mathilda scores a 10 for her “performance”), “Lifeforce” throws in everything but the kitchen sink in an effort to make the picture enormously entertaining.

And entertaining it is — right down to the last shots of Firth watching as the ship of extraterrestrial vamps flies away from Earth at the very last minute. We’re all saved, and a veritable B-movie classic comes to a fitting, perfect end.

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