rate the last movie you saw

[AndyDursin]

THE CHRISTMAS CHRONICLES
7/10

Kurt Russell IS Santa Claus in this very agreeable 2018 Netflix movie produced by Chris Columbus. One of those "let's show Theo anything that isn't HOME ALONE again" yuletide offerings, this plucky holiday film follows a pair of squabbling siblings from Lowell, Ma. who improbably end up tailgating with the big man (who's not that big) and helping him secure his lost bag of magical toys for the world's populace.

Russell is very laid back and fun here -- and so is this movie, which is disarmingly cute and builds up a little bit of emotion but stays on the fun and frolicking side as opposed to the saccharine and sentimental. A sequel with Goldie Hawn as Mrs. Claus (of course) that Columbus himself directed is now airing on Netflix -- that'll be tomorrow night's entertainment!

[Paul MacLean]

Rob Roy (6.5/10)

I saw this film at least once before -- in the cinema; I may have watched it again since then but not in a long time. Despite what I felt were imperfections (and while it certainly wasn't a "classic") I remember liking it at the time -- enough to eventually purchase the Blu-ray anyway.

But director Michael Caton-Jones' film has not aged well. Rob Roy is ostensibly an "adventure movie" -- a fictionalized account of folk hero Robert Roy McGreggor, who was a kind of "Scottish Robin Hood" (though the real Rob Roy was more of a scoundrel than this movie would imply). Fictionalized or not, his legend has all the makings of a first-rate romantic adventure.

Unfortunately, this "adventure movie" is pretty low on adventure, it is excessively talky (mostly dialog scenes) and its narrative craws along at a snail's pace. The highland locations are epic and gorgeous, and the sets (the work of Legend production designer Assheton Gorton) are no less impressive. Yet it remains a static film with little beyond sets and locations to satiate the eye.

Caton-Jones also offers no shortage of pointlessly crude moments -- men invasively fondling women's privates, people urinating, Eric Stoltz tasting a cow pie, and of course one of the most unpleasant rape scenes of all time. I guess that's "real life" -- but who wants to see this in a summer popcorn movie?

I can't fault any of the cast -- the performances are on balance very good. Their characters just aren't especially appealing. Liam Neeson is very good, but also spends much of the film brooding and mumbling in hushed, subdued tones (I blame the director for this). Jessica Lange is a fine actress and convincing in her role (and looks very good here considering she was in her mid-40s). But I've always found her work to have a "hard edge" to it. Caton-Jones would have been better to cast a younger (and yes, more fetching) actress for the part.

In contrast Tim Roth is caustically unforgettable as the villain Archibald -- a laughable fop on first glance but ruthless and deadly with the sword when crossed (Roth's Oscar nomination was entirely deserved). John Hurt never gave a bad performance and Rob Roy is no exception. Indeed the only times the film really comes to life is in Roth's and Hurt's scenes -- but it's a problem for any movie when the villains are more interesting than the heroes.

Carter Burwell's score is effective in the more intimate moments, but doesn't help liven-up the movie or provide much scope. The moments where he attempts be “epic” tend to just sound bloated, and his music for the opening scene -- with its "King Kong" drums and wailing soloist -- is ludicrously bad. The scene where the Redcoats march off in search of MacGreggor is set to the strains of "O'Sullivan's March" -- an Irish tune (uh, the film takes place in Scotland). I've always been baffled as to why Caton-Jones recruited his Doc Hollywood composer in lieu of George Fenton (whose score for Caton-Jones's Memphis Belle was bursting with the kind of stalwart heroism so needed in Rob Roy).

On a personal note, having been to Scotland numerous times since I last saw this movie, viewing it today I had quite a few “Oh wow — I’ve been right there!” moments. Interestingly, a number of locations used in Rob Roy were also used in Braveheart (one almost wonders if Brian Cox simply strolled the from one set to the other!). But finally, despite source material with enormous potential (to say nothing of a fine cast) Roy Roy just falls flat. It could have been a "Scottish Last of the Mohicans". Instead it's just a tedious (and sometimes tasteless) bore.

[Paul MacLean]

The Governess (8/10)

Obscure 1998 indie with Minnie Driver as a young Jewess in 1840s London, who takes a job as a governess with a wealthy family in remote Scotland after her father's death. I wouldn't say the basic story is especially inventive, but the film offers a fascinating glimpse into the rarely-explored world of London's 19th century Jewish society, and that in itself makes it interesting. On top of that, I'd say this is Minnie Driver's finest performance ever, the part enabling her to express vulnerability, fear, despair and sensual passion. The supporting cast, including Tom Wilkinson and a very young Jonathan Rhys Meyers, is also impressive. While there are moments that are steamy and erotically-charged, writer / director Sandra Goldbacher's nuanced direction skillfully keeps them from getting too tawdry (though I admit I could have done without the full-frontal nude shot of Wilkinson!).

It is also one of those films which has a lingering effect, and I find myself still contemplating it a day after watching it. I was also struck by the how similar 2003's The Girl With the Pearl Earring was to this film, and I'm convinced The Governess was a considerable influence on the former.

[AndyDursin]

Now THAT'S obscure! Is that streaming somewhere?

[Paul MacLean]

Now THAT'S obscure! Is that streaming somewhere?

It's available for rental on Amazon (which is where I watched it), tho the transfer is not great (looks like a 480 transfer). A shame, because it is well-photographed and designed movie.

I remember seeing the trailer back in '98 (probably at an art house) but I never saw it in theatres. I guess it didn't do very well.

[Johnmgm]

Mank (4/10)

Even Gary Oldman (who sounds alot like Lionel Barrymore here) can't save this dull, pretentious mess. If Herman Mankowitz was this boring in real life, I can't imagine why he got invited to so many parties at San Simeon. Terrible script by director David Fincher's late father.

[Monterey Jack]

Terrible script by the director David Fincher's late father.

It kind of blew my mind there was a flashback scene set specifically in 1930 where they name-drop "cheesy" Universal Monster movies like Dracula and The Wolf Man...the former of which would not come out until the following year, and the latter until 1941, after Citizen Kane came out. For a director as exacting as Fincher, how could an anachronism that glaring slip through?

Also odd that Fincher went to the trouble of adding faux cigarette-burn reel change markers ("A great, big Coke" )...yet still shot the movie in scope, which no real movie in the 1930's or 40's would have been. At least Steven Soderbergh went all-out in his 40's-era film The Good German by shooting it in the Academy Ratio.

[Johnmgm]

I caught that too! There were a couple of other minor anachronisms scattered throughout, which struck me at the time, but I can't recall at the moment (I'm still on my first cup of coffee).

On further reflection, I liked Amanda Seyfried's performance as Marian Davies and Arlis Howard was an interesting Louis Mayer. Actually all the actors were good, but most had little to do.

Also, apparently David Fincher and producer Eric Roth revised the original script, so they share in the blame for such a crummy screenplay.

A major disappointment.

[AndyDursin]

TENET
3/10

In the disastrous, mixed-up year of 2020, it probably makes sense that someone truly thought the movie that would potentially bring audiences back to theaters and leave their homes in the midst of a “global pandemic” was this turkey from Christopher Nolan – an absolute mess populated with unappealing characters and somnambulant performances to match.

Nolan's movies are, as we know, always pretentious and typically “complicated,” but there's a special divide between this film and the rest of his filmography, as his “Tenet” screenplay often sounds like actors reading a technical manual for a household appliance outloud. In terms of a story, what there is ends up being less than one might expect: a big opening action set-piece quickly lays down the gauntlet for Nolan's time-spanning premise involving a secretive organization trying to save the world from a Russian tycoon who's stolen “time-inverting” technology. Bullets fly backwards, fights are staged in reverse, and mankind's future rests in the hands of “The Protagonist” (John David Washington), whose grasp of the movie's premise is about as sound as you're likely to feel after a quarter of this dismal 2½-hour test of viewers' patience.

Sure, some of the visuals – mostly shot in Imax – are snazzy as you'd anticipate, but “Tenet”'s “reverse action blasts” mostly come off as goofy and strange. Someone's shooting in the present here, someone's throwing a punch in the past there – okay, and...well, what else is there? Turns out there's not much. The sound design is bass heavy and muddled, the dialogue often buried under an abysmal, Zimmer-wannabe score from Ludwig Goransson, yet perhaps it wouldn't have mattered with these performances.

Washington is a blank in the lead role, displaying none of dad Denzel's charisma, and he's opposite an abused trophy-wife character in Elizabeth Debicki, giving a thankless turn in a role Rosamund Pike specialized in a decade ago. While Robert Pattinson livens things up as one of “The Protagonist”'s cohorts – displaying some charm that seems out of place with the rest of the cast – the solitary worst performance belongs to Kenneth Branagh. With his faux Russian accent, Branagh looks like he's auditioning for Boris Badenov in a “Rocky & Bullwinkle” remake as he explains (or tries to explain) his motives to “The Protagonist” like an old Bond villain – minus the entertainment value found in any of the actual Bond movies.

Incredibly, an hour or possibly more was removed from “Tenet” before the picture was cut down to its still unmanageable 150-minute running time – whether some of that might have better explained the film's story, who knows. Yet, who cares, because none of these characters are worth making an emotional investment in, and Nolan does little to engage you on that level – the world of “Tenet” exists solely on a technical plain, not a human one.

Never mind being a disappointment – “Tenet” is a dreadful movie that likely would've been savaged by critics had it originated from any other filmmaker, at any other point in history.

[Johnmgm]

I don't think I have really liked a Nolan movie since his first stab at Batman (which I thought was terrific). He and David Fincher (whose films I prefer over Nolan's) are frequently compared to Kubrick. In their dreams.

The question to YOU, Andy Dursin. Is Tenet worse than Dunkirk?

[AndyDursin]

That would be a yes, John, firstly it is nearly twice as long.

There are other reasons too -- at least the aerial photography in DUNKIRK was interesting, even if the movie was a disappointment for many of us. I can't ever imagine wanting to watch a frame of TENET again.

[AndyDursin]

CONTINENTAL DIVIDE
7/10

The nice and at-times endearing 1981 rom-com CONTINENTAL DIVIDE was a first, and sadly a last, happening for several of its participants. For Steven Spielberg, he notched his first Amblin production credit here for shepherding a script by Lawrence Kasdan, who had a hit earlier in '81 with “Body Heat,” not to mention the screenplay for the director's own “Raiders of the Lost Ark.” It would also be the first time star John Belushi tried his hand at a straight type of leading man role – reportedly clean and sober on set, it would also, unfortunately, be the last time Belushi would get this opportunity, as he passed away from an overdose in 1982.

It's unfortunate, too, since Belushi is engaged and quite likeable in this amiable if uneven vehicle for the ex-Saturday Night Live performer and his co-star, actress Blair Brown. He's a tough Chicago Sun-Times columnist running afoul of a local Alderman who's about to burst a gasket over Belushi's reporting of his corruption; she's a reclusive orinthologist living in the Rockies whom Belushi tracks down when he needs to get out of town. The duo spar, eventually fall for one another, then break up – and come back together again – after Belushi returns to Chicago and has to finish what he started at the Sun-Times.

Directed by Michael Apted, “Continental Divide” is somewhat problematically constructed: the movie opens in Chicago, transitions to the Rockies and settles into Belushi and Blair's relationship, but just as it seems to be gaining some momentum, heads back to the Windy City for a prolonged climax where the dramatic stakes take a surprisingly dark turn (the Alderman actually bombs Belushi's apartment and rubs out one of Belushi's informants, leaving his kids fatherless!). There may not be a ton of chemistry between Belushi and Brown, but their scenes together – beautifully shot by John Bailey – are pleasant and should've been further developed since that's where the core of the story lies – yet Kasdan seems oddly more interested in the peripheral element of Chicago corruption. It's like “Absence of Malice With Eagles” or something.

Nevertheless, there's a real likability to Belushi here – playing to his pudginess and chain smoking, he's actually quite believable as a street-savvy newspaper man, and one could see him having a future as an actor beyond the comedy realm had he lived long enough. Brown is completely fine and appealing here too, but you get the sense this film would've worked better had Belushi been playing opposite an actress with more of an “attitude” and edge. Brown is so easy-going and “nice,” John doesn't have much of a challenge to turn her initial resistance to him around, which leads to an air of inevitability about the entire story.

Still, “Continental Divide” has an earnestness and an appeal that enables it to overcome its flaws. I remember my parents renting this film on VHS back in the early '80s and the film being mostly embraced by critics of the time. The movie didn't perform great but did respectable business (certainly it did better than Belushi's subsequent and last film, the miserable “Neighbors” where he reunited with Dan Aykroyd and, regrettably, fell back into drugs and booze), and comes across as a bittersweet example of its star's talents, which could've – and should've – extended beyond “Animal House” and “The Blues Brothers.”

Special note also has to be made to Michael Small's score. I've long respected Small's work, mostly in unobtrusive dramatic support of various features throughout the '70s and '80s, but “Continental Divide” gives the composer a rare opportunity for his music to take center stage. His underscoring of Brown and Belushi's relationship is the highlight, with truly lovely, melodic material elevating all of their scenes. It's a shame nobody has ever stepped up to release this soundtrack, which is capped by a beautiful finale and Small and Carole Bayer Sager's ballad “Never Say Goodbye,” performed by Helen Reddy, over the end credits.

Kino Lorber's Blu-Ray (out this week) debuts the movie in high-def for the first time. This is an adequate if older Universal master (1.85, 2.0 DTS MA mono sound) that capably does the job; extras include the trailer and a commentary with historians Daniel Kremer and biographer Nat Segaloff.

[Monterey Jack]

-King Solomon's Mines (1985): 2.5/10



My never-ending, perhaps foolhardy quest to sit down and watch every movie ever scored by Jerry Goldsmith led to today's turkey (currently free on Amazon Prime), a witless, cheesy knock-off of the Indiana Jones franchise, with Richard Chamberlin doing a poor-man's Harrison Ford as vintage pulp adventurer Allan Quatermain and a pre-Verhoeven Sharon Stone mugging up a storm as his would-be love interest. Anyone who's ever bagged on Kate Capshaw's performance in Temple Of Doom will owe her a heartfelt apology after witnessing Stone's sodden, truly obnoxious performance here (although she looks great in her short-shorts that seems to shrink with each passing scene ). It's hard to believe that she'd briefly become one of the hottest, most highly-paid actresses in Hollywood and an Oscar nominee within the next decade based on her unbelievably charisma-deficient turn here. The wasted talent extends even further, with Herbert Lom as a cartoonish German commandant right out of a Pink Panther movie ("Save my phonograph...!"), John Rhys-Davies as a blustering, villainous Sallah clone and director J. Lee Thompson stuck with a myriad of poor special effects, muffed stuntwork and a general logy, sluggish pace that never generates any genuine suspense or humor (except of the unintentional variety). As for Goldsmith's soundtrack, it's certainly better than the film deserves, working overtime to inject some much-needed dashes of excitement and romance, yet the incessant "Ride Of The Valkyries" riffs grow tiresome, and the movie is so cluttered and directionless his bustling action cues just add to the movie's headache factor (although it works a lot better separated from the imagery on CD). More proof of just how lightning-in-a-bottle Raiders Of The Lost Ark was, and how precious few of the rip-offs that clogged multiplexes in the 80's could come even within shouting distance of the exuberance that Spielberg and Lucas brought to their creation.

[AndyDursin]

If you think that's bad, see ALLAN QUATERMAIN AND THE LOST CITY OF GOLD. Makes the original look like RAIDERS itself

[Monterey Jack]

If you think that's bad, see ALLAN QUATERMAIN AND THE LOST CITY OF GOLD. Makes the original look like RAIDERS itself

I'll take your word for it. At least the first has a Jerry score.