rate the last movie you saw

[Paul MacLean]

Captain Marvel (3/10)

For a film which was one of the top-grossing releases of 2019, I could not for the life of me comprehend its appeal.

It offers nothing new. A female superhero? Well, we had one in Wonder Woman the year before (and Gal Gadot was a lot more bad ass -- and more feminine -- than Brie Larson). The visuals are all old hat -- the alien planet where the action begins looks exactly like Coruscant, and the weird-looking aliens (and the "plot twist" that they are actually not the villains) was very reminiscent of John Carter. The action scenes are the same-old, same-old. Jude Law turns out to be the real bad guy (just like David Thewlis in Wonder Woman). The score is serviceable, and actually pretty-well orchestrated, yet it still had that loud, blunt "Zimmer" quality (and I don't recall a theme).

Another big problem is that Captain Marvel herself doesn't really come across as a woman. The character is written like a man, with a woman simply cast in the role (and isn't helped by Larson's hard edge). The best thing in the film is Samuel L. Jackson, who brings his reliably entertaining and acerbic energy to the picture. In fact he is the only good thing in it.

[Monterey Jack]

I enjoyed Captain Marvel in a theater surrounded by howling MCU nerds, but watching it again later at home I found it to be a crushing bore. Brie Larson has no identifiable human quirks, no warmth, and no charisma, attacking the role with a grim-faced joylessness like she's the "trailblazing" Rosa Parks of superheroines. Like Black Panther (which was at least a better movie than this), this was overhyped as some kind of breakthrough for female superhero movies (at least inside of the MCU, which as we all know was the very beginning of superhero movies in any way, shape or form), when in reality -- as Paul points out -- the role is basically written as so gender-neutral that they could have slotted a man into the role and barely tweaked the screenplay at all and it would have turned out exactly the same. This ranks with Iron Man 2 as one of the most disposable films in the MCU franchise.

With both Captain Marvel (bland) and Black Panther (good but absurdly overhyped), Disney is acting like this is the FIRST TIME EVER that women and black characters have headlined superhero or action movies, but this isn't news to anyone who grew up watching Ellen Ripley kick alien ass, or even anyone who watched Blade in the late 90's or early 00's. The general complaints about female superhero movies is not that there haven't been any, it's that there weren't any GOOD ones until Wonder Woman, and that's pretty much true. Unless we're talking supporting roles in other movies (Michelle Pfeiffer in Batman Returns, Black Widow in the MCU, the various women in the X-Men movies...and how AWFUL was Jennifer Lawrence's "X-Women" crack in Dark Phoenix ), most female-driven superhero fare prior to WW was garbage like Supergirl, Elektra or the Halle Berry Catwoman. Same thing with black heroes...Shaq in Steel, anyone?

[Paul MacLean]

Brie Larson has no identifiable human quirks, no warmth, and no charisma, attacking the role with a grim-faced joylessness like she's the "trailblazing" Rosa Parks of superheroines.

Yeah, she was this soulless automaton, with no trace of sentiment or warmth (even in the scenes with the kid).

These are indeed strange times, in which a woman superhero has a cold, hard, unfeminine edge, while James Bond has become a fragile, delicate emo.

Another question I had about Captain Marvel -- why does it take place in 1995? What in the actual story is particular to that era? The film never addresses Clinton's America, or the huge cultural shift when "information superhighway" suddenly connected the whole world. Yeah, she tries to navigate the web with Alta Vista in one scene, but that's nothing more than a throwaway "gee, things sure were primitive back then" gag.

[AndyDursin]

If you ever wanted to completely show how disposable Rotten Tomatoes is, consider CAPTAIN MARVEL is "79% fresh"

The film never addresses Clinton's America, or the huge cultural shift when "information superhighway" suddenly connected the whole world. Yeah, she tries to navigate the web with Alta Vista in one scene, but that's nothing more than a throwaway "gee, things sure were primitive back then" gag.

That I attribute to Disney/Marvel's push to have all of their products be "worldwide marketable commodities." International audiences aren't going to care or understand references to "Clinton's America", so these films all have a mind-numbingly "same" blandness in terms of settings, time and place so that it really doesn't ever matter when they're happening. Even WONDER WOMAN portrayed WWI so generically it could've been happening in the 21st century as it bore no resemblance to reality.

It's why they all feel like the same movie. Plus there's so little humor in these films too. "Jokes don't travel" and such. The American audience has become secondary in many of these pictures, and of course there's the whole pandering to the Chinese market as well.

[AndyDursin]

CLASS ACTION PARK
8/10

If you aren't from the NY/NJ area chances are you didn't hear about "Action Park," a sprawling and quite out of control '70s/'80s amusement park, heavy on the water rides, that mostly catered to teenagers and "the bad element" from nearby metropolitan centers. This extremely entertaining documentary guides you through the insanity of this creation, recreating the time and place of an era in which people could take inexperienced youngsters and let them supervise large swaths of often alcohol-impaired patrons who either got into fights or flew off the rides, sustaining quite traumatic injuries as a result.

The makers of this documentary manage to make this irresistibly fun through the use of animation that recreates "guide maps" you'd receive at the front of the venue -- but like all good things, Action Park itself eventually succumbed to its own bacchanalia, and the doc turns deservedly less frivolous as it recounts one family's trauma when their teenage son got killed on one of the rides (and if you think that's bad, it wasn't the only one).

There are a lot of documentaries streaming all over the place these days, but many of them are not well-organized or focused -- CLASS ACTION PARK, on the other hand, most definitely is, and presents its story and players in a very satisfying manner.

Currently this one is streaming only on HBO MAX. Worthwhile if you have the service, or worth tracking down when it's available elsewhere.

[Edmund Kattak]

Yes, I went to Action Park many times back in the late 70's early 80's. Some scary experiences. There was a tidal wave pool (Picture something bigger than an Olympic size ppol with man-made waves) that not only got infected with bacteria on a regular basis, but killed some people who got sucked in the waves and drowned.

Then, we get to individual set pieces like the "Cannonballer" which was basically a huge enclosed and completely dark water pipe that you slid down like a water slide and pitched on angle to propel you into this cold natural "brook" of some sorts. You had no idea how deep it was or time to get your bearing. Definitely scary for anyone, regardless of age.

Then, there was a really long water slide that contoured the hill on what seemed like a converted ski slope (It was Vernon, NJ where skiing was a local staple in the winter). This went on for at least 500 or so feet on a hilly downgrade, so if you didn't scrape up yourself by accident on the concrete that reinforces the slide, you'll get some other kind of "slide burn" in the process.

I haven't seen the documentary, but I will check it out today. Now if someone does a documentary on "Jungle Habitat" which wasn't too far away and another NJ semi-disaster, then the circle would be closer to completion.

[Paul MacLean]

^^I lived new NYC as a child but we never went to this place (instead we went to the more "conventional" amusement park, Playland -- which probably wasn't too much safer!).

The "360" water ride was actually lampooned in The Simpsons years later...

[Eric Paddon]

I went to Action Park at least once, maybe twice in the early 80s. My chief memory is their "mini-Indy" racetrack and I do recall how it was much more dangerous than the "Grand Prix" raceway at Disney World and all other amusement parks where you drive on a fixed barrier. At Action Park this was free-wheeling open-wheeled stuff where you could pass cars and get ahead of them and it encouraged stuff that I realized could be more dangerous. I sort of remember the wave pool I think and how intense that could be.

There is a book out by the son of the park's founder/operator that gives you all the inside dope on the history of the park from beginning to end. I hope I can see this documentary someday.

[Eric Paddon]

I haven't seen the documentary, but I will check it out today. Now if someone does a documentary on "Jungle Habitat" which wasn't too far away and another NJ semi-disaster, then the circle would be closer to completion.

I went to Jungle Habitat once its last year I think at age seven. I remember its car ride basically. There is a website devoted to it with all kinds of fascinating minutiae including the original audio recordings (narrated by Bugs!) for the safari drive.

https://westmilfordjunglehabitat.com/

[Edmund Kattak]

I haven't seen the documentary, but I will check it out today. Now if someone does a documentary on "Jungle Habitat" which wasn't too far away and another NJ semi-disaster, then the circle would be closer to completion.

I went to Jungle Habitat once its last year I think at age seven. I remember its car ride basically. There is a website devoted to it with all kinds of fascinating minutiae including the original audio recordings (narrated by Bugs!) for the safari drive.

https://westmilfordjunglehabitat.com/

Eric, in it's glory, we loved JUNGLE HABITAT. But when they went bankrupt, there were reports of some of its former residents wandering around backyards looking for food. It was a shame that some of the animals were not relocated to the Bronx Zoo or dare I say Six Flags Great Adventure down in Jackson - where you drove through the safari park with your car!

[Edmund Kattak]

^^I lived new NYC as a child but we never went to this place (instead we went to the more "conventional" amusement park, Playland -- which probably wasn't too much safer!).

The "360" water ride was actually lampooned in The Simpsons years later...

PlayLand, as in Rye PlayLand?

[Eric Paddon]

Eric, in it's glory, we loved JUNGLE HABITAT. But when they went bankrupt, there were reports of some of its former residents wandering around backyards looking for food. It was a shame that some of the animals were not relocated to the Bronx Zoo or dare I say Six Flags Great Adventure down in Jackson - where you drove through the safari park with your car!

LOL. I've heard some of those stories too and most of them tend to be a bit on the exaggerated side. The website I linked has some good insider information on what really happened and that in fact most animals were relocated though a few random stories grew into some wild urban legends as the years went by.

I always wish I could travel in time to see the 1964 World's Fair or the short-lived "Freedomland" which was an attempt to put a Disneyland style park in the Bronx! (Ran from 1960-64)

[AndyDursin]

I do enjoy S.O.S. Titanic. I remember taping Howard Blake's theme music onto a cassette. TBS used to show the extended version a lot in the 1980s, but I haven't seen it since. I didn't know a blu-ray was coming out- looking forward to that!

Yes, it' s a Kino Lorber release scheduled for mid-October. Originally they were going to just release the worthless overseas theatrical cut, but by a happy late turn of events finally secured rights to the original telecast version (apparently Disney controls the rights to that while the theatrical cut was owned by another entity) and they delayed the release seven months to get that put together. The theatrical cut will have a commentary track because that was done before they knew they'd get hold of the version people *really* want. I saw it when it first aired in 1979 at age 10 and have a 1987 TBS recording that I've never been able to transfer properly to DVD so it will be nice to retire that!

Just a heads-up the transfer for the TV version is pretty rough. Granted it's so rarely screened I don't think it's bad enough to keep anyone away (I mean, it beats Youtube!), but it's probably the only thing they could find and sections of it are "off" (one sequence has purplish skin tones, other scenes have lots of dirt, grime, softish details, etc.).

I definitely was not as enamored with SOS TITANIC as you guys either, so there's that also. lol

[Eric Paddon]

Well I have my 1987 TBS recording but I can never get the tracking right on a player to transfer it. I'll just settle for the best we can do at this point and not have to write it off as a "lost" title.

Compared to what's followed in Titanic dramatizations since "SOS Titanic" there isn't one that even comes remotely close to it. "A Night To Remember" is still the champion but "SOS Titanic" in its long form remains the worthy runner-up for me.

[AndyDursin]

I'll have to respectfully disagree with you on this one, I found it stilted and uninvolving across the board. I'll take Cameron's movie any day over this, love story and all (which itself is superior to the dramatics in this film), not to mention the technical depiction of the climax. This doesn't hold up at all production wise (I'm surprised it was that expensive, it doesn't look it), but beyond that, I didn't find these characters remotely interesting or the performances compelling either. The direction is flabby also, I can see why they would've removed sections of it, it almost felt like it was padded to a 3 hour slot. The first hour drags on forever.

I definitely credit them with trying to resurrect the longer version, but obviously the elements are what they are, and weren't cared for. At least they still exist though, it's better than nothing.