rate the last movie you saw

[Eric Paddon]

Konga (1961) 2 of 10

-One of my Kino Lorber discounts. Good Lord, what a truly awful film. Thank goodness Michael Gough was around long enough to be remembered as Alfred in the Batman films or else this piece of tripe would be his biggest claim to fame. He defines "deranged mad scientist" with every last cliche and tons of bad over-acting all in a truly boring plot in which he somehow finds the ability to increase the size of a chimp he's brought back from Africa which manages to turn into a gorilla as it grows! (or at least a guy in a bad gorilla suit). All this to further his mad schemes and to also use "Konga" to get rid of his enemies because "They won't make a fool of me!" And then, he uses Konga to kill the boyfriend of the college girl he develops an ultra-creepy interest in, which causes his long-suffering plain-Jane aide to jealously turn Konga into a fifty foot tall beast to show him a thing or two but things get out of hand. 77 minutes of tedium and hammy overacting and silliness before we get our dull giant ape on the loose climax of Gough endlessly shouting, "Konga put me down!", and because this is a cheap budget we get no destruction images as it's just photo processing shots. Just a truly awful British B-movie.

[mkaroly]

DON'T DRINK THE WATER (1969). 6/10. Jackie Gleason stars as Walter Hollander, the owner of a catering business. While on a trip to Europe with his wife Marion (Estelle Parsons) and daughter Susan (Joan Delaney) their plane gets hijacked and is forced to land in Vulgaria behind the Iron Curtain. They disembark the plane and Walter shoots videos of his family per his wife's request, leading to communist police leader Krojack (Michael Constantine) to accuse them of being spies. Walter and his family escape arrest when they jump into the US ambassador's car and get whisked away to the US Embassy by Axel (Ted Bissell), the ambassador's son. Trapped there in the Embassy, the Hollanders and Axel try to come up with a way to get them back to America.

The film is based on a play by Woody Allen (who himself had nothing to do with the movie). While the film supposedly uses a lot of dialogue from Allen's play, it does its own thing with the story. DDTW is a 60s comedy that, while looking very 60s-ish, nevertheless has a timeless quality to it. The cast is fantastic with Gleason holding center stage and Estelle Parsons matching him every step of the way. Most of the time Walter looks frustrated and tired at being surrounded by people he thinks are idiots and incompetent; Marion and Susan make the best of their situation, and Axel tries to be as helpful as he can even though he is not the smartest person in the world. Gleason is just so much fun to watch in this film; his facial reactions, his eye rolls, and his delivery are all spot-on. The funniest bit for me was Krojack's Rules for Protest in which he instructs a crowd on expectations on protesting the US Embassy. The movie ends with a zany chase-like thing that was common in 60s films - not a great ending but definitely satisfying. One can "hear" Woody Allen's sarcasm and humor throughout the film.

The Kino Lorber presentation is decent, though the commentary by Howard S. Berger and Nathaniel Thompson was disappointing to me. One of them talks so fast that it was hard to follow what he was saying; the other slowly waxed poetic on how much he loved film, repeating "you know....you know...you know..." so much that I almost turned off the commentary track. He also said Estelle Parsons was "f***ing hilarious"...I don't know, but dropping an f-bomb in the middle of a commentary track seems a bit unprofessional to me. They did provide context for the film which was appreciated, but more often than not the one who spoke slower and "you knowed" his way through the track took up most of the time with his reflections that seemed unprepared and off the cuff...again, not very professional. I personally like more formal commentaries so this one was not to my liking.

[AndyDursin]

NUMBER ONE
4/10

Anemic late '60s Charlton Heston vehicle -- reportedly one of his least favorite films -- does offer some quality NFL game footage of its era. But off the gridiron, this is a horribly overwrought soap opera with a far-too-old Chuck as the fading QB of the New Orleans Saints, attempting to hang onto his job while contemplating retirement. Jessica Walter (his long suffering wife) and Diana Muldaur (a young woman of interest) are the ladies who jockey for Heston's attention in a Tom Gries-directed film that's nearly skeletal in its dramatic development -- pokey, slow moving, depressing and unintentionally funny, complete with a "logs on the fireplace" love scene set to Dominic Frontiere's Legrand-esque jazz score. Coming on Blu-Ray this month in a new HD transfer, "Number One" has been seldom screened -- for good reason, and offers little entertainment outside of its location shooting and game footage. There are also a couple of shots of Walter and Heston clearly "sneaking in" a scene against a full crowd that was likely there to watch a real game and wasn't paying attention -- those quick moments are amusing but the film itself is a real grind.

CARLITO'S WAY
6.5/10

Watched this with Joanne in 4K the other night, my first viewing since it came out theatrically. Typically slick Brian DePalma joint with some solid Stephen H. Burum cinematography -- but man, the story is along the lines of a creaky old '40s gangster melodrama, cliched and predictable, that's also a lot slower than I remembered. What's more, Al Pacino's flamboyantly theatrical performance is both engaging and entirely unconvincing at the same time -- never once do you actually think he's inhabiting the character, and his silly accent, which was clearly informed by the persona of his "Scent of a Woman" character, veers from a Latino hustler to some Southern gentleman looking for his iced tea. Penelope Ann Miller shows off her physical form a few times and Sean Penn is effective as Carlito's loser lawyer, but outside of a peppy last 20 minutes, this one keeps you at arm's length due to its formula and Pacino's presence. Patrick Doyle's score is also too much at times.

[Eric Paddon]

I'm waiting on both "Number One" and "Counterpoint", the two films being released that Heston did just before and after POTA. "Number One" I saw on its earlier DVD release and I found it so-so. It was interesting to see a look at an NFL player in an era when the NFL was rising in popularity, but when NFL players still weren't making big money and had to struggle with the question of how to make a living beyond football. Getting cooperation from the Saints was a plus. Heston's journal indicated that some flashback sequences with him and Walter to the early days of their marriage and his career ended up on the cutting room floor though I doubt they would have helped (it does explain why there is one small jarring flashback scene still in the film). My biggest complaint was the abrupt ending that gives us no resolution whatsoever and chooses instead for an artsy-fartsy camera shot.

Interesting thing in Jessica Walter and Diana Muldaur being in the same film. Walter was the one originally sought for the Trek episode "Is There In Truth No Beauty" but she wasn't available so that's why they went to Muldaur as the second choice.

[AndyDursin]

I appreciated that part of the movie also, a portrayal of a sort of blue collar pro athlete that doesn't really exist so much today, but it's just so poorly developed. There's no real development of the story or interactions between characters (like the black backup QB who wants his job), just what feel like fragmented scenes and flashbacks. The ending is awful, and she just walks out on him while he's lying there?

Counterpoint I have already also. I'm going to try to make it through that one but I thought it was really odd.

[mkaroly]

NOSFERATU (1922). 10/10. Bottom line is that this is my all-time favorite Dracula film. I am not a fan of a romanticized Dracula, though I understand the appeal of it. FW Murnau's unauthorized adaptation of Bram Stoker's book still to this day creeps me out - German Expressionism was the perfect movement to capture the darkness of the original novel. I particularly love Murnau's use of shadows in the film, and while the Count himself looks more akin to a large rat than a human being, that look communicates the sense of plague, death, disease, and any other vile thing you can think of better than the vast majority of Dracula films that have been made. NOSFERATU is not a "by the numbers" adaptation and changes the story and characters quite a bit, but after almost 100 years I feel this film holds up incredibly well. The Kino Lorber two disc set includes lengthy excerpts of some of Murnau's otehr films in addition to a documentary from 2007 on the making of NOSFERATU as well as Hans Erdmann's original 1922 score. The film has been restored really well (much like THE CABINET OF DR. CALIGARI was). Highly recommended.

[BobaMike]

Journey to the Center of the Earth (1959) 7/10

Family movie night, and since my wife wasn't feeling well, it meant boys' night for movies. My son chose (to my surprise), the old James Mason/Pat Boone version of Journey to the Center of the Earth after viewing the trailer. I was happy- not many 4th graders choose old fantasy adventure movies.

I had forgotten how slow a start it has, with Pat Boone singing to and wooing his girlfriend for an eternity (who then doesn't go on the adventure and is barely in the movie). Once they get to Iceland things pick up- they are abducted, his competitor murdered, and finally the caves!
The sets are pretty impressive- filmed in real caverns and what must have been enormous sets, only 1 poorly done matte painting really gave it away.

My son was looking forward to the monsters, which he couldn't figure out were done! "Computers? Man in suit? Puppets? Animatronics?". He finally figured out they were just iguanas- and was impressed how convincing they looked.

I've always enjoyed this movie, it has a good sense of humor, and has a bit of Indiana Jones charm to it in spots. It's on Disney+ and looks very good for its' age!

[mkaroly]

ENTER THE DRAGON (1973). 7/10. Bruce Lee plays Lee, a Kung Fu expert who is recruited by a British intelligence officer named Braithwaite (Geoffrey Weeks) to act as a spy for his organization. His target is Han (Shih Kien), a wealthy recluse who holds martial arts tournaments (and who has invited Lee to one). Braithwaite knows Han deals in drugs and white slavery, but he has no evidence to prove Han's criminal activities. Lee accepts Braithwaite's offer (especially when he finds out that Han and his goons are responsible for the death of his sister) and travels to Han's island along with some other fighters including Williams (Jim Kelly) and Roper (John Saxon), each with their own personal reasons for accepting the invitation to fight in Han's tournament.

This film is a martial arts classic, and it was the breakthrough film for Bruce Lee that would have catapulted him to stardom had he not died tragically. While I like THE WAY OF THE DRAGON slightly more, this is one heck of an entertaining film, culminating in its own Hall of Mirrors final showdown between Lee (who plays a "kind-of" James Bond character) and Han. There are several memorable moments in the film, not the least of which were the fight sequences. As always, Lee moves so fast and so fluidly - it is hypnotic to watch. In addition, the pacing of the fights build tension really well. As far as the acting goes, it is serviceable even though at times it is quite hokey. Lalo Schiffrin's score is infectiously good - I have been listening to it almost every day after watching the film. The film is in English with some of the character voices dubbed; the lip-synching is imperfect, but to be honest there is a charm to it all nonetheless. The Criterion version of this film has a commentary on the extended version by producer Paul Heller which is okay but there are too many dead spots where he is not talking, so it could have been much more. After watching this film (Lee's most commercial film to date), it is easy to see why it has the legacy it has.

[Paul MacLean]

True Romance (6/10)

I can't deny this film was well-directed -- and evidence that Tarantino's scripts come off better when directed by someone other than him. The dialog is snappy, and Tarantino and Tony Scott build palpable atmosphere of tension and severity.

The cast is great, it's incredibly well-photographed...but what's it all for? What is the message? The two leads aren't especially sympathetic -- they exhibit foolish and even venal behavior, and their greed gets innocent people killed.

To this day still don't "get" Tarantino. And at this point I think it's because there's nothing to get. Some of his films have individual moments that are impressive, but none of them have a cohesive dramatic arc from start to finish (and often get bogged-down in irrelevant tangents). His work isn't what you call inspiring, it offers no deep insight, or meaning. There's never "a moral to the story". Sorry, I guess I'm not "with it", but for me it takes more than cool dialog and graphic violence to make a great movie.

True Romance's saving grace is Tony Scott's direction. Like his brother he was a master of imagery, and he livens up more than a few of this movie's talky moments with some real visual panache (I wish Scott had directed Pulp Fiction -- which is the only Tarantino script which really impressed me).

It is also bemusing to see future stars like Brad Pitt, Samuel L. Jackson and James Gandolfini in thankless walk-ons, while "up-and-coming" leads Christian Slater and Patricia Arquette's careers never really took-off. Hans Zimmer's score is quite good (and a reminder to me why I was initially a fan in his early years).

[AndyDursin]

Zimmer's sensibilities in the early '90s alas didn't last. I agree those are the only times I really cared for his work on balance, buying a few of his scores during that time.

I coincidentally uploaded Siskel & Ebert's review of TRUE ROMANCE over the weekend -- my guess is you would agree with Gene's take especially, but I think they were on-target in not overpraising it (as some others were). I like the film more than other Tarantino outings, probably because it had Tony Scott's involvement so the sensibility wasn't "entirely" Tarantino's, who I've never been a huge fan of. Still I've always felt uneasy about sections of it -- particularly the violence it contains, which with Tarantino, you never know if it's being condemned or glorified (or, at times, both!). I also had never seen a female character beaten on-screen as Arquette's was at that time, it was jarring when it came out (I saw that one with Reid at the Pyramid Mall lol).

[Paul MacLean]

I'm more in agreement with Gene, though I do agree with Roger's assessment of the movie as an violent adolescent fantasy (I just didn't like it).

Interesting that they also reviewed Kalifornia in this show -- which has a similar tone and has similar characters, but was to me the better film.

Another thing I didn't care for in True Romance was the how Slater's "Son of Sam" episodes -- in which "Elvis" advises him what to do -- never has any payoff. Clearly Slater is deranged if he's hearing from "the King", but this element is left behind and the character lives happily ever-after as the "all-American dad".

[AndyDursin]

Exactly, they both felt KALIFORNIA was a much better film like you did.

That was one of the first shows I remember taping in Ithaca!

[Monterey Jack]

-Spider-Man (2002): 8/10

-Spider-Man 2 (2004): 10/10

-Spider-Man 3: 7/10



Re-visited the Sam Raimi trilogy over the past few days to get ready for the gratuitous fanservice of No Way Home next month, and, man, it's weird watching these again for the first time in nearly a decade. Just seeing a superhero movie shot on actual film stock (replete with gorgeous grain, nicely replicated on the top-notch UHD releases of all three films) gives them a lush, lived-in look miles from the "flawless", sterile look of a typical MCU movie. Plus, these actually feel like NEW YORK movies, and not something shot on a greenscreen stage. And they have such a big heart, compared to the "insert tension-deflating joke here" quips that constantly undermine any sense of danger or drama in the Tom Holland movies (no matter how enjoyable they are on their own level). Yeah, there's a "corniness" to them, but it's very complimentary in this case. Rosemary Harris makes for a beatific Aunt May, Cliff Robertson a stalwart Uncle Ben, and hey, MJ is white!

It's also somewhat disconcerting just how far technology has changed in the nineteen+ years since the first one came out, and not just for the visual F/X...Peter Parker still uses PUBLIC PHONES in them.

Even the much-derided third movie plays better than you'd expect today. It's mainly Sony's insistence on shoehorning in Venom that really mars the film...all it does is take away from the stuff we really wanted to see, like the resolution of the Peter/MJ/Harry triangle and all of the Sandman stuff (Thomas Haden Church is great in the role, by the way). And all of the "Emo Peter does a stupid dance" stuff that people like to complain about comes across as the most prankish and Raimi-esque material in the film, and still authentically makes me laugh. If the movie had omitted Venom entirely and given the Harry subplot more time to breathe, it might have been as good as the second, or at least on a par with the first. Seriously, go back and watch Spider-Man 3 again, and it's held up much better than you might have remembered, especially in light of the genuinely wretched Amazing Spider-Man 2. All of the Raimi films feel like the work of a genuine auteur, something that Marvel properties are rarely allowed to be since 2008, which is what worries me about the Dr. Strange sequel. I fully expect that movie to give us 40% Raimi, and 60% MCU beancounter bullcrap.

[Paul MacLean]

Вий (Viy) (2/10)

Lauded as a "horror classic" I found this 1967 Soviet effort a complete bore. Based on a story by Nikolai Gogol, the film concerns a young philosophy student, Khoma, who is asked to pray for a recently diseased young woman -- whom he is convinced is a witch that tried to kill him the night before. The remainder of the film concerns Khoma's efforts to pray, night after night, locked in the church with the young woman's body -- which reanimates and flies around the chapel in her casket all night, trying to do away with him.

Things pick-up at the climax, as horrific apparitions and deformed, grotesque demons emerge through the church walls -- and the film utilizes some highly clever on-set / forced perspective trickery (as well as some laughably phony effects, like a skeleton which is obviously a marionette). But until that sequence Viy is incredibly slow-moving and redundant -- and certainly the most tedious, padded 82-minute film I've ever seen. Bad English dubbing does the film no favors, nor does the low production value (typical of most Soviet productions -- sorry, I prefer films made under the heel of "decadent capitalism").

[AndyDursin]

21 HOURS AT MUNICH
5/10

Now out on Blu-Ray, the 1976 ABC TV movie 21 HOURS AT MUNICH (101 mins., 1976) is a workmanlike, docudrama account of the terrorist attack on the 1972 Munich Olympics. The Palestinian terrorists (led by Franco Nero) are portrayed in cold, clinical terms while the Israeli athletes they eventually take hostage – en route to a spectacularly botched rescue mission – are likewise showed in a detached, “just the facts” manner by director William Graham and writers Edward Hume and Howard Fast. The trio, working from a Serge Groussard book, spend as much time on the efforts of the chief of police (William Holden) to stop a potential massacre from taking place which, ultimately, it more or less does anyway.

Using actual location shooting and footage from the Games helps (Jim McKay's narration even opens the film), but “21 Hours at Munich” is surprisingly bland and passionless – for those of us who didn't live through the moment, it's useful through its reported historical accuracy, but the dramatic engagement is small, and not even the efforts of composer Laurence Rosenthal are up to his usual standard. Kino Lorber's Blu-Ray includes good-looking, dual 1.33 and 1.78 aspect ratios licensed through MGM – though Jost Vacano's lensing was clearly intended for the former, as the latter appears overly cramped. The trailer is also on-tap plus a new commentary from historian/screenwriter Gary Gerani.