Personally, I thought POSIEDON was hilariously overwrought, and the way scenes were scripted and shot were pretty much announcing which character was going to die next.
When Richard Dreyfuss' character tells a fellow named "Valentine" that he loves his name, I knew that poor guy was only moments away from his final heartbeat. And when the drunk jerk started to act even more drunk and jerk-y, he may as well have announced to the audience, "Hey, pay attention! This is my last scene!" Not one single death caught me by surprise, and since I didn't get a decent introduction to any of the characters, I didn't become emotionally involved with them enough to care whether they lived or died.
Oh, and did I mention the substandard F/X?
I didn't?
Well, the movie had substandard F/X, too. And a substandard, themeless score, and some really, really bad acting...especially on the part of Josh Lucas, who looks like he may have been the only actor to have read the script in advance.
POSEIDON: Turkey of '06?
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Eric Paddon
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Carlson2005
I must admit, I thought the Hallmark version failed to live down to its reputation: aside from Peter Weller’s every other line being “I’m Captain Paul Gallico” or “This is your captain, Paul Gallico” just in case anyone doesn’t get the joke or Steve Guttenberg (looking increasingly like a failed attempt at cloning Albert Brooks) constantly endangering everyone’s life to stop them to tell him how much he likes them with what he thinks is his best sincere voice but which really sounds like someone trying to have a conversation while having a particularly difficult bowel movement, there aren’t many unintentional laughs to be had.
Rutger Hauer simply looks bewildered, as if he wandered onto the wrong set by mistake and somebody gave him a hat and a dog collar, Sylvia Syms looks alarmingly like Shelley Winters, C. Thomas Howell is starting to look even more alarmingly like an ageing 80s porn star and only Bryan Brown and Adam Baldwin look like they’re having any fun. The spirit of Irwin Allen is briefly resurrected near the finale: sadly, it’s not the Allen of The Towering Inferno or the original Poseidon but the one who spent nearly two reels having people very, very slowly cross a bridge one by one for the last two reels of When Time Ran Out.
Rutger Hauer simply looks bewildered, as if he wandered onto the wrong set by mistake and somebody gave him a hat and a dog collar, Sylvia Syms looks alarmingly like Shelley Winters, C. Thomas Howell is starting to look even more alarmingly like an ageing 80s porn star and only Bryan Brown and Adam Baldwin look like they’re having any fun. The spirit of Irwin Allen is briefly resurrected near the finale: sadly, it’s not the Allen of The Towering Inferno or the original Poseidon but the one who spent nearly two reels having people very, very slowly cross a bridge one by one for the last two reels of When Time Ran Out.
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AndyDursin
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Warner sent me a copy of the DVD (yes, already!), and I think it's going to end up being a tight race between SUPERMAN RETURNS, LADY IN THE WATER (which I haven't seen) and this for their bona-fide #1 turkey of 2006 (not talking strictly box-office, more about the quality of the film).
To paraphrase Leslie Nielsen in the original movie, "oh my god" -- it's SO bad. An almost complete flop across the board.
Clearly everything related to character development had been cut. Not only that, but even some of the FX (as many mentioned earlier) are downright terrible -- the opening shot that Petersen boasts was the most complicated "in the history of the cinema" looks like CGI out of a video game! (It makes the opening deck shot of TITANIC look like it was made yesterday...POSEIDON's isn't half as good!). I can't believe where the money went...certainly not into the FX!
Basic dialogue and character development:
"I just don't want you fooling around on this boat" - Kurt Russell to his daughter Emmy Rossum
"He wanted to see someone else, and I guess I missed the boat" -Richard Dreyfuss tearing up over the break-up from his gay lover (hilariously funny sequence)
"This boat IS safe..." -Andre Braugher playing the captain shortly before water hysterically pours in through the side
Everything about the film is substandard, particularly the terribly repetetive Klaus Badelt score...a genuine disaster in more ways than one!
To paraphrase Leslie Nielsen in the original movie, "oh my god" -- it's SO bad. An almost complete flop across the board.
Clearly everything related to character development had been cut. Not only that, but even some of the FX (as many mentioned earlier) are downright terrible -- the opening shot that Petersen boasts was the most complicated "in the history of the cinema" looks like CGI out of a video game! (It makes the opening deck shot of TITANIC look like it was made yesterday...POSEIDON's isn't half as good!). I can't believe where the money went...certainly not into the FX!
Basic dialogue and character development:
"I just don't want you fooling around on this boat" - Kurt Russell to his daughter Emmy Rossum
"He wanted to see someone else, and I guess I missed the boat" -Richard Dreyfuss tearing up over the break-up from his gay lover (hilariously funny sequence)
"This boat IS safe..." -Andre Braugher playing the captain shortly before water hysterically pours in through the side
Everything about the film is substandard, particularly the terribly repetetive Klaus Badelt score...a genuine disaster in more ways than one!
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Carlson2005
From what I've heard, there were no character scenes that got cut - the opening was always that rushed. Apparently they thought going in that waiting half-an-hour for the wave to strike like the original was "too long to get to the good stuff." 
In the worst direlog stakes, though, I doubt Wolfie's masterpiece can compare to some of the crap in Miami Vice - he may have taken the "Foreboding, as in badness going down" stuff in the trailer out of the film, but he left the immortal "Ships move. That's why they're called ships." Ah, the genius of Michael Mann...
In the worst direlog stakes, though, I doubt Wolfie's masterpiece can compare to some of the crap in Miami Vice - he may have taken the "Foreboding, as in badness going down" stuff in the trailer out of the film, but he left the immortal "Ships move. That's why they're called ships." Ah, the genius of Michael Mann...
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AndyDursin
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LOL.
I'm just trying to figure where the money went.
It couldn't have been the FX, because most of them are terrible.
It couldn't have been the sets, because other than 2 principal stages, most of the movie could have been shot at a hotel (threadbare corridors).
And it couldn't have been the cast -- Lucas, Russell and Dreyfuss aside, the entire supporting cast is comprised of a basic group of young unknowns (Jacinda Barrett? Mike Vogel? Mia Maestro?) who had to have been hired on the cheap...plus Kevin Dillon, who I'm guessing will work for food at this point.
I'm just trying to figure where the money went.
It couldn't have been the FX, because most of them are terrible.
It couldn't have been the sets, because other than 2 principal stages, most of the movie could have been shot at a hotel (threadbare corridors).
And it couldn't have been the cast -- Lucas, Russell and Dreyfuss aside, the entire supporting cast is comprised of a basic group of young unknowns (Jacinda Barrett? Mike Vogel? Mia Maestro?) who had to have been hired on the cheap...plus Kevin Dillon, who I'm guessing will work for food at this point.
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Carlson2005
Lucas is an unknown ouside the USA too. Wasn't he in last year's colossal Jamie Foxx box-office disaster? Maybe they figured they could do twice as much damage apart....
I think most of the money went where most of the money on all summer pictures goes - rushing to meet a release date, which means paying three times as much for sub-standard effects that aren't ready in time and paying more for the 'talent' than you should (Dreyfuss says it wa his best ever payday) simply because you need someone who doesn't mind getting wet and who can turn up in costume tomorrow!
I think most of the money went where most of the money on all summer pictures goes - rushing to meet a release date, which means paying three times as much for sub-standard effects that aren't ready in time and paying more for the 'talent' than you should (Dreyfuss says it wa his best ever payday) simply because you need someone who doesn't mind getting wet and who can turn up in costume tomorrow!
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AndyDursin
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Lucas is like McConaughey without the charm (and not that Matthew hasn't produced turkeys of his own, but I do believe he's got some charisma and "star power" that's carried crap like SAHARA and those icky romantic comedies he's made).
And yes, Lucas starred in STEALTH! (Foxx was billed third, behind Jessica Biel there, for what ended up being an extended cameo role).
I noticed, FWIW, that Russell received 1st billing on the posters/DVD packaging, but Lucas nabs it on the film credits. I actually found that more interesting than the film! (and the score is lousy, too).
The DVD is a typical Warner 2-disc "Special" Edition with nothing "special" at all about it: lame promotional featurettes, no deleted scenes, no commentary, and a History Channel documentary that's more of an ad for the movie than it is an examination of the rogue wave phenomena itself.
And yes, Lucas starred in STEALTH! (Foxx was billed third, behind Jessica Biel there, for what ended up being an extended cameo role).
I noticed, FWIW, that Russell received 1st billing on the posters/DVD packaging, but Lucas nabs it on the film credits. I actually found that more interesting than the film! (and the score is lousy, too).
The DVD is a typical Warner 2-disc "Special" Edition with nothing "special" at all about it: lame promotional featurettes, no deleted scenes, no commentary, and a History Channel documentary that's more of an ad for the movie than it is an examination of the rogue wave phenomena itself.
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Carlson2005
There does seem to be this bizarre phenomena of the studios wildly overpaying people who don't have enough star voltage to run a sitcom for more than four episodes before it gets cancelled these days. I know real movie stars are in short supply at the moment, but when the Colin Farrells of this world get $10m a picture and the big summer releases are headlined by people no-one recognises at their own school reunions let alone outside the USA yet still get paycheques in the upper seven figures, you've got to wonder if the talent agencies haven't got some really great blackmail material in the safe. Aside from Troy, how many of the recent spate of $150m+ summer blockbusters really look like they spent the money onscreen these days? 
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Eric Paddon
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