rate the last movie you saw

[AndyDursin]

BLACK PANTHER
6.5/10

Late to the party on this, obviously, but I echo most of the sentiments I heard from my fellow Aisle Seaters here: strip out the "diversity" and social justice components (gotta get in those "white people jokes"), and you really have another run of the mill Marvel entry. For the most part, I was entertained moderately but grew totally bored by the end of this film, which devolves into another generic action climax that could be made by a robot at this point. The characters are, admittedly, well laid out by Ryan Coogler and the female ensemble is particularly strong -- so much that there's shockingly little of the costumed Black Panther on-screen -- but the net effect is both colorful and wholly unmemorable, punctuated further by endlessly wailing vocals in Ludwig Göransson's derivative score.

It also suffers from the main problem all the Marvel movies have, which is that the dramatic stakes are non existent. You never feel there's any real suspense or something on the line, and ultimately there isn't.

[Paul MacLean]

The Shape of Water (3/10)

(SPOILERS)

There have always been "Oscar darlings" whose acclaim and popularity have left me baffled -- but this one takes the cake. The Shape of Water's basic plot -- benign creature bonds with altruistic human while being hunted by government agents -- is one we've all seen before (in E.T., Splash, Starman, etc.). Attempts to put a "fresh spin" on this long-stale idea do not come-off -- the film attempts to be too many different things, and the result is an incohesive mess. It is a science fiction / horror flick, an espionage thriller, a heavy-handed statement about bigotry (and the hypocrisy of those who espouse "traditional values"), and for an brief (and ludicrous) moment, an old-fashioned Hollywood musical.

The movie is perforated with copious plot holes. It is preposterous that such a creature would be left un-monitored, enabling Sally Hawkins to interact with it. If Michael Shannon is so convinced the creature is deadly, no one would be allowed near it -- certainly not a cleaning lady. How could the creature escape Hawkins' apartment and into the cinema downstairs -- completely unseen? Why is the creature the only one in the theater when a movie is being shown? Did no one else come to the movies that night? If so, then why did they run the projector for an empty house? How can Hawkins fill her bathroom with six or seven feet of water without the pressure bursting the door and windows? Why did we need a gratuitous close-up and Shannon's wife flashing her bare breast? What is the point of the diner scenes? They don't really advance the story, they're just thrown in to make a didactic observation about how racist (and homophobic) America was in the 60s (plus the diner manager is established early-on as a Canadian, so why does he espouse the racist views of a southerner?). Sorry, but surgical techniques in 1967 were not advanced enough to reattach severed fingers (moreover, wouldn't Shannon go to a doctor if his fingers were developing gangrene?). And I actually started laughing in the scene where Hawkins imagines herself and creature dancing together in some old Hollywood musical -- I honestly wondered "Is this whole movie a spoof?"

The performances are mostly terrific, but the characters all shallow clichés -- the lonely (and sex-starved) spinster, the sadistic government agent, the misunderstood gay artist, the token black friend, the cold, soulless Air Force general etc. Ho-hum. The film is "impressively visualized", but nothing we haven't seen before. There's a richness to the way the period is rendered, but it's in pretty-much the same style of The Right Stuff and Catch Me If You Can. The title sequence (filmed on a dry set made-up to look submerged) "looks cool", but it's just useing the same tricks Alex Thomson devised for Leviathan -- 30 years ago. The creature itself has nifty CGI eyes, but the costume otherwise looks no more remarkable than that of The Creature from the Black Lagoon.

The film is also an endless barrage of bad taste, starting with the scenes of Hawkins masturbating in the bathtub, and finally becomes utterly revolting when Hawkins relationship with the creature turns sexual. Despite a rudimentary ability to communicate with Hawkins, the creature is clearly shown to be more beast than human (it eats Hawkins' cat alive for Pete's sake!) so their relationship is essentially one of bestiality, and I personally find that gross.

Alexandre Desplat's score is one of his better efforts, and actually provides a modicum of emotional resonance. Still (as usual) it lacks any visceral punch -- and what is with all the "Parisian café" accordion music? The movie takes place in Baltimore, and not a single character is French.

I wish Del Toro had made Hellboy III instead.

[AndyDursin]

Now THAT is a review.

Basically total agreement. Del Toro always wanted to make CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON so he grafted socio-political themes on top of it.

Though personally I was excited to see Michael Shannon stretch in a performance he's never given before.

[Monterey Jack]

You're both wrong. Wrong-wrong-wrong.

[Paul MacLean]

You're both wrong. Wrong-wrong-wrong.

What, were we too kind?

[AndyDursin]

I'd rather sit through GODS OF EGYPT again if I had to choose between a second viewing of them.

[Monterey Jack]

Hey, I liked Gods Of Egypt too...but The Shape Of Water was my favorite film of last year. Sorry it didn't work for you both, but you're in the minority on that.

[AndyDursin]

So what? Hey you're often in a minority on a lot of things.

I make up my own mind. According to most "Tomato Meter" critics this movie was brilliant, the GHOSTBUSTERS remake was laugh out funny, THE LAST JEDI was great, and ALIEN COVENANT was worth seeing.

Im thankful I'm not living in their cinematic reality (or hell lol).

[Monterey Jack]

The Last Jedi was great.

[AndyDursin]

Watched it again last night as Joanne hadn't seen it. It sucked as much as the first time, even minus the months of disappointment from the first viewing.

.

[Monterey Jack]

That's your opinion, and you're entitled to it, but I don't share it. That probably puts me in that film's minority, but I don't care.

[Paul MacLean]

I love John Williams' score for The Last Jedi...but have to admit this music better captures the tone of this scene...

[AndyDursin]

There are so many things that don't work in that film, but that scene epitomizes them all.

[John Johnson]

I'd rather sit through GODS OF EGYPT again if I had to choose between a second viewing of them.

Gods of Egypt is a guilty pleasure, and I found it more enjoyable than The Last Jedi

[AndyDursin]

John, I don't disagree there either! Mowing the lawn is more fun than The Last Jedi.