rate the last movie you saw

[AndyDursin]

MY STEPMOTHER IS AN ALIEN (1988)
4/10



I'm not sure what spurred on the sudden interest in the box-office failures of Dan Aykroyd, with Shout (inexplicably) releasing a “Collector's Edition” of his disastrous directorial debut “Nothing But Trouble” (!), and now Arrow choosing to revisit the wan 1988 comedy MY STEPMOTHER IS AN ALIEN (105 mins., PG-13). What's next – a Criterion edition of the godawful Aykroyd/Gene Hackman buddy flick “Loose Cannons”?

This busted entry in the '80s sci-fi/fantasy sweepstakes pairs Aykroyd – here playing straight man – and his widowed scientist with a nubile extraterrestrial who responds to his intergalactic experiment and arrives in the form of none other than Kim Basinger. Her “Celeste” attempts to acclimate to the human world with predictable, sitcomy-results – think along the lines of “Splash!” – while Aykroyd attempts to convince his young daughter (Alyson Hannigan) that this sexy visitor is worth keeping around the planet.

A production of the short-lived Weintraub Entertainment Group, “My Stepmother Is An Alien” began life as a serious script by Jerico (Stone) before studio honchos decided it would work better as a comedy. A number of writers toiled on the project before it became a Christmas '88 release for director Richard Benjamin, who does what he can with material that wastes the talents of Aykroyd – then coming off one of his biggest hits with “Dragnet,” here stuck in a Disney-esque type of role Dean Jones used to play – while Basinger valiantly recycles the comedic chops she displayed to more moderate success in Blake Edwards' “Blind Date.” The end result failed to find an audience, none too obviously because its PG-13 rated elements made it unsuitable as a “family movie,” while the story was too light and saccharine for teens and adults.

Arrow's Blu-Ray offers up a new 2K restoration (1.85, 2.0 DTS MA) for fans plus an audio interview with Richard Benjamin and a commentary from Bryan Reesman. There's also an essay from Amanda Reyes that tries so hard to work in political commentary (you'll never guess which ideological side she's on) and read subtext into this film that it nearly challenges the label's release of “Sixteen Candles” for most outrageously self-indulgent “booklet note academia."

[mkaroly]

THE FRONT PAGE (1974) - 2/10. Directed by Billy Wilder, this film is a remake of the Ben Hecht play of the same title and was the third film adaptation of the source material. Jack Lemmon plays Hildy Johnson, a gifted newspaper writer who wants to leave the business and settle down with his fiancee Peggy (Susan Sarandon). In order to do so he has to turn in his resignation to his boss, the overbearing, ruthless, and ever-scheming Walter Burns (Walter Matthau), head of The Daily Examiner in Chicago. On the eve of the execution of Earl Williams (Austin Pendleton), Burns tries to convince Hildy to delay his marriage for 24 hours in order to write the story. But when Hildy refuses to do so Burns uses all the tricks in the book to get him to stay.

The Kino Lorber disc has an excellent commentary track by Michael Schlesinger and Mark Evanier, both of whom are fans of the movie. They feel it is an overlooked gem, and while I appreciate their enthusiasm for the film, I just don't like it much at all. Yes, the performances are top notch (they point out Carol Burnett hated her performance, and admittedly she does stick out like a sore thumb playing Molly Malloy, a cheap prostitute who genuinely cares about Earl) - Matthau shined as the cold-hearted Burns and Lemmon was (as always) amazing. Vincent Gardenia is also fantastic as a dumb Sheriff who is about to lose his mind over everything going on around him. I loved the long takes in the film - it is a lost art in today's films (as the commentators pointed out, rather than have editing and cuts determine the rhythm of the scene, long takes give the actors and actresses the opportunity to determine the rhythm of a scene by just letting them do their thing). Despite some good things, I found the bad to outweigh the good - the film is so vulgar with lots of bad language that seems unnecessary and forced, and it just lacks charm. The worst thing I can say about it is that I did not laugh once during the whole thing (and it is a comedy film).

Relationships are central to the film: Hildy's relationship ("marriage") to Walter Burns, Hildy's relationship to his career, Hildy's relationship to Peggy, and Earl's relationship to Molly are the most important. But to me they all come across as flat; it makes me appreciate even more what Hawks did in HIS GIRL FRIDAY. There the relationships are vibrant and engaging; even though Cary Grant's Burns is a jerk he has a certain charm about him nonetheless. Ultimately in the 1974 version of THE FRONT PAGE, none of the characters are all that likable, so this is quite disappointing. I will stick to HIS GIRL FRIDAY as the best and most interesting adaptation of the original source material.

[AndyDursin]

The 74 movie is all dressed up with nowhere to go. Huge disappointment given the cast and Wilder. Seriously, the 1988 version, SWITCHING CHANNELS, is much more enjoyable even though it's always carried a bad rep as "just another Burt Reynolds movie." It's a lot more entertaining than that and the formula still works.

[Paul MacLean]

Bridge To Tarabithia (6.5/10)

I might have given this movie a higher score but for the "bait and switch" setup to the story, which tries to sell Bridge to Tarabithia as an out-and-out "portal fantasy", like Harry Potter, Narnia, The Spiderwick Chronicles, etc. (i.e. young protagonists discover a door into a magical world).

Certainly that is the impression one gets from the film's poster...



The story concerns two 11-year-olds, Jess (an aspiring artist and an awkward misfit among his peers), and Leslie (also a misfit, but a free spirit who is comfortable with her eccentricities). The two leads, Josh Hutcherson (Jess) and more especially AnnaSophia Robb (Leslie), really carry the film, and the friendship (and romance) which blossoms between them is endearing -- and the best thing about the movie (though admittedly some of their scenes get a little corny at times).

The problem with Bridge To Tarabithia is that the movie poster is clearly trying to sell it as a fantasy -- which it is not. Jess and Leslie explore the deep woodland behind their homes, while spinning tales of giants and other fantastical creatures, which soon appear on screen in CGI form. Naturally the viewer assumes these creatures are a sign they are about to pass through a portal into a magic land.

But it never comes. There is no payoff. The effects are ultimately just there to show us what is in the head of the two protagonists. As if that wasn't off-putting enough, the story takes a very abrupt and darkly unpleasant turn about 3/4 into the film. I also didn't especially care for a sequence which depicts the Christian faith of Jess' family as legalistic, and preoccupied with Hell and punishment (but of course Leslie -- the skeptic -- encourages Jess to question his beliefs).

The New Zealand locations do not convincingly stand-in for "Anytown, USA" (especially when the road signs are on the left side of the street!). I do give the film high marks for the two leads and the touching depiction of their relationship. But Bridge to Tarabithia ultimately fails because it leads the viewer to expect the the characters are going to enter a magic world, when ultimately it is just the story of two very imaginative kids. Its attempt to look and feel like a fantasy film when it isn't one (in a clear effort to bait the Harry Potter audience) just leaves the viewer feeling cheated.

[Paul MacLean]

The Last Duel (6.5/10)

(SLIGHT SPOILERS)

Ridley Scott recently made hay about this film's failure, blaming it on audiences who only care about MCU movies. He has a point about MCU flicks (which I agree with) but that doesn't change the fact that The Last Duel just isn't that good a movie.

Although "based on a true story", the form of the film is obviously modeled on Kurosawa's Rashomon. Matt Damon plays a French knight whose friendship with high-ranking squire Adam Driver begins to deteriorate, as Driver is forced to carry-out the wishes of Ben Affleck's Count Pierre d'Alençon (who dislikes Damon and uses his influence to compromise his advancement). Damon's wife Jodie Comer urges her husband to reconcile with Driver, but when they meet to mend fences, Driver gets the hots for Comer and later rapes her when Damon is out of town.

As in Rashomon, the events leading up to the "outrage" are shown multiple times. First from Damon's perspective, then from Driver's and finally from Comer's -- and in the latter case a title card notes hers is "the truth".

All the male characters in the film are either promiscuous rakes, or judgemental priests, so the film often comes off as a heavy-handed "men are all pigs" polemic. Yet at the same time, other than Comer there aren't any likable female characters either, resulting in a movie where almost no one is sympathetic. The rape scene is disturbing and grisly (much like the one in Rob Roy), and worst of all, the viewer is subjected to it twice -- first from Driver's perspective, then from Comer's. Moreover, Affleck and Driver debauch women throughout the film, one scene even featuring several naked women waiting for them in Affleck's bed -- an oddly voyeuristic image for a film that purports to condemn misogyny.

Despite the violence and edgy images, The Last Duel is not very compelling. It isn't exactly boring, but it all unfolds rather dispassionately, with little dramatic tension. None of this is helped by Harry Gregson-Williams' anemic score, which is devoid of any boldness or visceral energy, and doesn't do much to enhance of uplift the drama.

Ridley Scott of course emerged in the 1970s as one of the most innovative cinematic stylists of all time, and his early work was groundbreaking, trendsetting, and advanced the language of visual storytelling. But his more recent films seem more formulaic and perfunctory. Once again we have a period piece full of lots of blue-tinted winter scenes (with wispy fake snowflakes wafting in the air), and smokey interiors lit by the windows and firelight. It looks good -- but it also looks like Gladiator, Kingdom of Heaven and Robin Hood.

The casting is solid. I still prefer British and/or Commonwealth actors for these kinds of movies, but Damon and Driver are very good. Affleck is a bit affected but ultimately decent in his part. Comer is the best (but she's British of course).

I'm sure a lot of money was spent on The Last Duel, but to be honest, it doesn't look any more expensive or spiffy than the BBC's Hollow Crown Shakespeare adaptations from several years ago (which I'm also watching at the moment -- and which blow this movie away).

[mkaroly]

JOE KIDD (1972) - 3/10. Directed by John Sturges, this movie stars Clint Eastwood as Joe Kidd, a one-time bounty hunter who is drawn into a conflict between John Saxon's Luis Charma (a Mexican revolutionary who pushes back against a corrupt New Mexico government that is taking land away from his people) and Robert Duvall's Frank Harlan (a wealthy landowner who doesn't want Charma or anyone else to make claims on his 600,000 plus acres of land). The film is only 88 minutes long, so it is a Revisionist Western "quickie" that, for the most part, falls flat. The story moves so quickly that there is very little character development and there seem to be spaces in between sequences where more story could have gone but was excised; the film's climax (which begins with a slow moving train train crashing through some buildings) is okay but not the "slam-bang finale" that the Blu-Ray back cover summary says it is. Clint's character has a certain charm to him, the Western cliches just don't add up to much. In my opinion the movie needed to be longer and the characters fleshed out more.

Kino Lorber's disc has two main supplementals: an audio commentary by filmmaker Alex Cox and an interview with one of the bad guys from the film, Don Stroud. The commentary is, to be honest, on the whole boring in my opinion. Cox does not really give up a whole lot of information about the film (see below), and there are times when it seems like he isn't even really all that familiar with the film (he asks why Kidd sends a character named Ramon out to his death at the end of the movie...if he had been paying attention earlier he would have known why as it is pretty clear). One good aspect of Cox's commentary, however, was how he pointed out all the similarities between JOE KIDD and an Italian Western film he loves called The Great Silence. Don Stroud's brief interview was very lively and he immediately spoke about how the production was troubled, how Eastwood and Sturges did not get along, how Sturges was drinking too much, etc. Cox included none of that in his commentary (or maybe it was edited out by the studio or something). Anyway, Stroud believed that if Eastwood had directed it JOE KIDD would have been a better film. I have to agree with him.

[Monterey Jack]

Yeah, Joe Kidd is one of Eastwood's most anonymous westerns. It's not really bad in any distinct way, but there are so many far better ones to choose from, you know? Nice Lalo Schifrin score (what little of it was actually used in the film), but otherwise it's the only one of the Kino Eastwood releases I didn't bother to pick up.

[mkaroly]

Yeah, Joe Kidd is one of Eastwood's most anonymous westerns. It's not really bad in any distinct way, but there are so many far better ones to choose from, you know? Nice Lalo Schifrin score (what little of it was actually used in the film), but otherwise it's the only one of the Kino Eastwood releases I didn't bother to pick up.

One thing I forgot to mention about the commentary - while it is totally cool that Mr. Cox felt that Schiffrin's score was the weakest part of the film, he emphasized the point no less than three times in his commentary, which I found to be kind of tacky. Say it once up front or at an appropriate moment, but to emphasize it over and over again makes it sound like he had an axe to grind or something.

[mkaroly]

BREAKHEART PASS (1975). 6/10. Charles Bronson plays John Deakin, an outlaw wanted for several crimes. He is arrested in the town of Myrtle and escorted onto a train heading for Fort Humboldt on the frontier. The train is carrying several soldiers in addition to Nevada Governor Ruchard Fairchild (Richard Crenna) and his finacee Marica (Jill Ireland), who is the daughter of the commander in charge at the Fort. It seems that a diphtheria outbreak has occurred at the Fort, and the train is carrying medical supplies. But all is not what it seems to be - soon several of the passengers on the train die under mysterious circumstances, and it is up to Deakin to figure out what's going on.

Based on an Alistair MacLean book (he wrote the screenplay as well), BREAKHEART PASS is a fun movie for what it is. It has a 70s "feel" and look to it, and to be honest it came across to me as a repackaged and re-imagined MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS in many ways. The acting in it is pretty good (I liked Bronson's stoic, level-headed but tough presence in the film), though the story gives way too much away by having characters glance at each other sideways every 10 minutes or so. As such, from the very start of the film the viewer never gets comfortable - we all know something is awry, and we are along for the ride to find out what's going on. Jerry Goldsmith's score is decent; the main theme is catchy and the rest of the score supports the events on screen without overemphasizing its presence. The film pays off on the action sequences when Deakin fights for his life with a bad guy on the top of the train; yet the climactic ending really doesn't deliver the goods. The only supplemental on the Kino Lorber Blu-Ray is an audio commentary by Howard S. Berger, Steve Mitchell, and Nathaniel Thompson. Berger and Thompson did the commentary on DON'T DRINK THE WATER, and one of the two just went on and on aimlessly throughout it; I can't remember which one it was, but after about 10 minutes of their commentary for BREAKHEART PASS I turned it off - I don't care for the one who talks slower and aimlessly. I am glad I finally got to see this film in full, as they have been showing it often on the MyTV THIS channel.

[Monterey Jack]

Don't know where else to put this, but the Sleepy Skunk gifts us with a Christmas treat...!

[Paul MacLean]

Logan's Run (8.5/10)

After more than 45 years Logan's Run remains a highly entertaining and effective picture, and whatever it may lack in the realm of fancy effects work is more than made-up for by an excellent screenplay, and an exceedingly impressive cast. Although it veers considerably from the novel on which it was based, the script is a more than solid -- and in many ways prescient -- science fiction story. Logan's Run depicts a restrictive Nanny State where the individual's right to self-determination (and eventually, life itself) are revoked -- and most of its denizens simply don't care, too distracted by their hedonistic lifestyles, and unwilling to make waves in a society where all their needs are met (a mindset more common today then when the film was made).

But Logan's Run also works as a very touching love story. The relationship between Logan and Jessica is at first ambiguous -- she is mistrustful, and with good reason as he is initially using her to infiltrate the secret society of runners. Their journey of discovery -- of both the outside world, and their blossoming affection for each other -- has real heart, aided in no small measure by the genuine chemistry between Michael York and Jenny Agutter. Richard Jordan (a great actor who we lost far-too early) is icily menacing as Francis -- yet on a certain level sympathetic too, as one who feels betrayed by his best friend. Peter Ustinov is wonderfully eccentric (and frequently hilarious) as the Old Man, and the final scene where he greats the youthful survivors of the city is optimistically cathartic, and deeply moving.

Jerry Goldsmith's score is one of the reasons I originally became of fan of his. Maybe the synthesizer work is a bit primitive by today's standards, but he got a lot out of those limited, cumbersome instruments (plus, fully-electronic cues would not become de rigueur until the 1980s, so this score is quite ahead of the curve). The orchestral cues feature a lot of inventive writing, with complex meters and Bartok-esque moments. Goldsmith's cue for the "sunrise scene" is one of the most glorious and inspiring moments of his career, and his love theme -- particularly in the "swimming hole" scene -- is among his most gorgeous work. I still regard Logan's Run to be one of his greatest scores, which I'd number among his ten best. It is fair to say the film would not be as nearly effective without Goldsmith's music.

This film was always unfairly compared to Star Wars (having been released only a year earlier), but among the pre-Star Wars science fiction of the 1970s Logan's Run still holds-up exceedingly well. Yes it is clunky in places -- it never explains why the police are called "Sandmen" (in the book the life-termination imposed on the populace is euphemistically referred to as "sleep" -- hence the "Sandmen" who enforce it), some of the extras are obviously over 30 (if not over 40) and you can see Roscoe Lee Brown's teeth (then again Box describes himself as "more than man or machine" so maybe he does have teeth!).

But there's no question Logan's Run is far-superior to things like Demon Seed, Soylent Green, Damnation Alley and The Man Who Fell to Earth! Its observations about short-sighted "living for now", and trusting in "the state" which provides everything, cleaved to a thoroughly-satisfying love story amounts to a genuinely great movie.

[AndyDursin]

Paul, you have stirred my interest in a LOGAN'S RUN rewatch accordingly. Especially after sitting through this!

DUNE (2021)
5.5/10

Denis Villeneuve's highly anticipated big-screen rendition of Frank Herbert's classic sci-fi tome proves to be a disappointment across a number of levels.

The all-star cast, at least, mostly fits the bill, with Timothee Chalamet starring as the young Paul Atreides – the supposed Messiah of a desert planet where “the spice must be flow.” Unfortunately for Paul and his parents (Oscar Issac, Rebecca Ferguson), they're nearly wiped out in an attack from the planet's former rulers, the vile Harkonnen, presided over by a giant sloth-like menace, the Baron (menacingly embodied by Stellan Skarsgard). Ultimately, the survivors from the House of Atreides are supported by Dune's native people, the Fremen, who are marked by their spice-affected blue eyes and have managed to exist in a world where conditions are unrelentingly harsh and giant sand worms swarm its desert landscape.

“Dune”'s sprawling narrative is, as any sci-fi fan knows, a difficult nut to crack and Villeneuve, working from a script he's credited with alongside Jon Spaihts and Eric Roth, decided to end the story just when things get interesting. And that he does – abruptly, even concluding with a line of dialogue telling the audience “this is just the beginning.” Not since Ralph Bakshi decided to send ticked-off audiences of his “Lord of the Rings” off into the parking lot has a filmmaker so unsatisfyingly decided to cut a movie short, and it's even worse here since Villeneuve has scarcely given viewers “the good stuff” – more like a 2½ hour preamble.

Yet that's not the only problem with “Dune.” Villeneuve's movie simply doesn't feel “alive” – the performances, the tone, the dialogue...all of it has the somnolent mood of his previous work, yet the lifelessness also extends to the movie's production design. This is a shockingly barren looking world that doesn't feel “inhabited” – the art direction often resembles conceptual drawings with Villeneuve placing his characters around the widescreen frame opposite mostly blank walls and sparsely decorated sets, making this futuristic society look more like “The Flintstones.” The end result is just as drab and dull to look at as the wordy, tedious film is to listen to – despite my best efforts, it took several viewings just to finish the movie, as its emotional flatline gives you little incentive to connect to its characters.

Comparisons to David Lynch's infamous 1984 “Dune” are inevitable, but despite that adaptation's admittedly rocky rendering of Herbert's story, it's striking just how much more energetic and exciting Lynch's film is from a pure cinematic perspective, outclassing this effort in terms of production design, score, and cinematography. Villeneuve's “Dune” may be more “competent” in terms of its core storytelling, but it's so bland, this veritable prologue of a movie scarcely registers a pulse.

[Paul MacLean]

The Silencers (3/10)

Ok, I wasn't expecting Goldfinger, but come-on. I'm not sure if this 1966 movie was intended to be a James Bond imitator or spoof, but in any case, despite its entertaining setup, The Silencers is a total bore. More romantic comedy than espionage yarn, action sequences are at a minimum, and the film's attempts at comedy -- mostly concerning Dean Martin's Matt Helm as he contends with an accident-prone leading lady -- are just stillborn.

The type of exotic locales that typify the Bond films (and add to their allure) are nowhere in sight here; this movie was obviously shot entirely in Southern California. And how are we supposed to believe Matt Helm is an elegant, debonair ladies man, when he drives...a station wagon?

Elmer Bernstein's score is terrific however, and another one of those examples of a composer scoring what the film could have been, as opposed to what is was.

[Eric Paddon]

I have just never found the Matt Helm films to be engaging. To me, they cross the line into bad taste too many times (Martin drinking while driving, and his making out with Ann-Margret who at that point in time still came off like someone just out of college) so that instead of being stylish and sexy they come off as sleazy. And in contrast to the Flint movies, where I can *believe* that James Coburn is a brilliant spy, I wouldn't believe that for a moment with Martin.

[Monterey Jack]

All I know about the Matt Helm movies I gleaned from Once Upon A Time In Hollywood.